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Yaelle E. Shaphir's blog on this Life's Journey: The Learning, The Pursuit of Zen,
Acupuncture, Wellness, Holistic Health, Motherhood, Concious Parenting,
Finding Self, Being Present, Being Out-Numbered, The Pursuit of Organization and Systems,
Keeping Grounded in Los Angeles, and Remembering to Breathe!
Los Angeles, CA Acupuncture, Parenting Blog Acumomma
Do You Need A Chew Toy? Lessons learned from Kindergarden
You've heard of people treating their dogs or pets like humans, right?
They dress them up in designer duds (just last week a saw a fabulous maltese in a denim vest), bedazzle their collars, and dye their fur, carry them around in specially designed pet carriers or slings.
Well - this blog post isn't about that!
E. (my precocious Kindergardener) starts up the best conversations when she is in the mood. The other day, we were walking hand-in-hand along the street and she said to me, "Today we said, "G. get the rope G. get the rope." HUH? "What does that mean?" I asked. G. is one of the cutest boys in E.'s class - he has kind, gentle light blue glowing eyes, a sweet smile, and impeccable manners and always comes over and talks to me. Well - apparently G. has an anger management or control issues. G. hits. So G. has a rope and when he gets angry/upset, the teacher and/or his classmates say to him, "G. get the rope. Get the rope." G. then goes to his rope and pulls it until he calms down.
I listened - amazed. Though if I dissect it, I willI admit, I listened 1. Thoroughly amused (holding back my smile picturing a dog pulling on a rope) 2. Fascinated (because the technique is genius and E. described it without stigma, in a very matter-of-fact way) 3. Wondering (Who thought up this great technique - teacher, parent, therapist).
Now I will also mention that G. has a chew toy. I was aware of teething toys for babies and infants, but I had never seen a chew toy for a school aged child. It looks like a beautiful agate or obsidian obelisk with a thin rope running through it and he wears it around his neck like a necklace. It has little pieces bitten out of it and it is made from nontoxic rubber. Apparently, G. likes to chew on pencils and when I did some internet research on it - out of curiosity mostly - some kids, sometimes autistic or not - need an oral outlet. It is a sensory thing. So the children will chew on their clothes, or anything else for that matter. It could be a stress thing or simply a sensory input issue.
Wow! Who Knew? Though - if you have ever tried quitting cigarettes or know someone who has - the hand/mouth habit needs to be broken so fiddling with straws/pens - chewing on them as well - helps to keep the hands busy when quitting (A better technique than substituting food and gaining the typical 15 lbs. when quitting).
So G. has a chew toy and a rope (Now - just for a moment - if we put the whole P.C. thing to the side - Does anyone else find that amusing? 
LOL). Ellah shared all this in a very neutral, objective way. I could tell there was no judgement about the situation. She then said, "Oh, and T. also has something." "What does T. have?" I asked. "T. has a ball that he squeezes when he is mad."
LOL). Ellah shared all this in a very neutral, objective way. I could tell there was no judgement about the situation. She then said, "Oh, and T. also has something." "What does T. have?" I asked. "T. has a ball that he squeezes when he is mad." A stress ball for a Kindergardener? Genius! Who said 5 year olds don't experience stress? Stress is defined as:
a) a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation
b) a state of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium.
We all experience various stressors - from birth until death.
It is up to us to learn stress-managment techniques that help us navigate the world and "stressors". I LOVE the fact that in E.'s K classroom - techniques are being used and all the children are exposed to them.
I asked E. why she didn't have something. "I don't act out in class," she replied. "Well, what about in the car or at home?" I asked. E. smiled knowingly. "Well, then we both need one," she replied, referring to herself and her almost 11 year old sister.
"Heck Ya!" I thought - flashing back to the latest car ride where L. was teasing or laughing, E. was reacting by pinching or hitting and I thought - let them both have chew toys and ropes! For that matter - let's get them for the whole family!
Because, my taking a "time-out" - putting my head in my hands in a defeated pose while my children look on - is probably not the best body language. I still need to be the "Alpha" of my pack!
Do You Deserve What You Desire?
I have been working with a life coach for the last six weeks. Every 2 weeks we have a 1 hour coaching session on the phone. I have assignments that are called my campaign which are monthly and yearly based. I have my goals for the next 12 months and I have the goals for the month to help me accomplish the goals for the year. I am really enjoying the process. I've set goals for my health, fitness, relationships, finances and dream project. It feels good to have a coach/cheerleader who I can be accountable to and who holds me accountable to stay on track.
On Thursday, there was an additional coaching session called, "Deserving what you desire," or "Do you deserve what you desire" something like that. "Hmmm. Sounds like something I would like to get in on, " I thought. I wrote it in my calendar and put the email with the telephone number and info away in a folder. I was in the valley with the children (E. was participating in a market research survey and earned $75 for 1.25 hours of giving her opinion on dolls - not bad for a 5 year old!) and I saw that it was approaching the call in time. The email had disappeared. After looking for it for a few minutes, I thought, "I'll get home, I will be able to listen in on the last 30 minutes." I got home and got on the laptop - still no email! Very weird. After searching for 10 minutes I decided to give up the ghost. "Okay - self-coaching time - do you deserve what you desire?" I thought. No brainer - Of Course! We All Do!
The next day, on my morning hike, an epiphany hit me like lightening. It was kind of fascinating because as clear as a can be my subconscious knocked on my conscious mind and said, "Everyone else gets what they want."
"Huh?" My conscious mind went. "Really? That's what you believe?" Flashes from my childhood flickered in my mind - times when I did not get what I wanted or if I finally got my wish, I had out-grown it and it was when it was no longer important to me. "Hmmm. Other people have houses and backyards and pools." That is a very limiting belief - let's go back and imagine the situations again and give myself those things that were denied - a technique I thought would help shift the attachment to this lame-o belief.
Then I thought about Desire and all the Buddhist teachings I had learned - Desire seems very loaded to me. Desire and the attachment to desire is the root of all suffering. I bought that one, hook, line and sinker. So I worked on gratitude. I had been in a very content state of mind - in gratitude for the roof over my head, the clothing on my back, my family, my/our health, my work. A simple life - a good life. This was working for me until it wasn't. Because desire for change was poking me like an obnoxious sibling - Because.... as the family grows - and the nice neighbors move and the grumpy neighbors move in, and I am constantly yelling at my children to stop stomping on the neighbors' heads and we are now 5 people in the 2 bedroom house. I realized that I am in denial about my desire and my desire is to MOVE! Because... Because... Because... So can I embrace my desire, instead of denying it? Can I use the desire to make the changes I need in my life to get what I want, Or to get out of what I don't want?
So how about a new paradigm? The new reality is - Desire is not Evil. Desire will not make me a raging maniac. Desire can actually be good. Desire can be a motivating energy to get ahead.
"I can't get no, satisfaction," is now "I can get my: satisfaction And desires!"
Then I started to get my mantra rhyme on - this happens at opportune moments:
"I Earn What I Yearn!" (oh ya!)
"I Acquire What I Desire!" (sing it sister!)
"I can get my...Satisfaction...And...Desire!
Those feel nice. Feel free to use it (giving me credit of course!) And I am thinking of a large 4 bedroom/3bath house in nature, with good neighbors, environmentally friendly, backyard and garden, hot tub, outdoor entertaining/living area, near work and good schools and in safe neighborhood - oh yes - I am on a roll.
What are your desires?
The Power of Perception - for Suffering OR Enlightenment
Today I was Reminded of the power of Perception - for Enlightenment and Suffering. Big words, yes... So let's take a deep breath- AH! HA! and begin....
Lishai's appointment at the Orthopedic Hospital down town at 8:50am (please arrive 30 minutes before your appointment time...you know the drill), required a subtle re-arrangement to our very regimented morning. I was responsible for getting the required bags ready - baby - check. Ellah - check. Lishai - check. Food/snacks - check. ID and Insurance cards - check! getting children loaded into their respective infant car seat, booster - and seat belts - check! Ellah was on time -even 2 minutes early - a record for me, and we had smooth sailing despite L.A. traffic to arrive at 8:30am. Pretty good so far.
Flash back to Last week's ortho visit which was supposed to include the removal of the cast (her apophysis was supposed to require a 10-14 day cast - and if you don't know what an apophysis is - I didn't either - google it!) My lovely and yet completely clueless in physiology/anatomy husband had taken her to that visit (I was seeing clients) and all I know is that Lishai arrive home - still in the cast, in hysterics and having had her "screen time" revoked due to her inability to stop crying after she was told that the cast would remain on for an additional week or two. And no one could explain to me why.
So flash forward to this morning - Mikhail's First Birthday and we are celebrating it bright and early, in the Limbo area of the hospital - the waiting room - a rainbow casted (pun intended) array of youth - arms and legs in neon green, purple, blue and one black wrapping- all waiting for their respective morning appointments. So first the good news: the cast was cut off- YAY! within 36 seconds - the cast was opened and then the wait began to visit the doctor. "It's really quick!" Lishai said optimistically, when they told us to go back to the waiting room! "We waited 5 minutes last time!" "Of course, you did," I thought, looking around the packed room. Slowly the room emptied, as Mikhail and I kept busy - him with a very exciting empty plastic water bottle he had acquired from a compliant 3 year old, and me on his tail as he tried to touch every trashcan and escape out of every available exit. After a new round of x-rays - the doctor informed us that Lishai has an accessory navicular bone. Yes - a congenital anomaly that is an extra bone in the foot. He painted a picture which involved surgery, orthopedics/orthodics etc and she lost it - again. The pediatric nurse asked her if it hurt and Lishai said - no. "How can it not hurt?" the doctor said in disbelief, "it rubs on the shoes and needs to be taken care of."
I got the referral to another orthopedist and was told to wait 1 1/2 weeks for authorization - though I doubt the insurance will cover any of it. meanwhile, what was supposed to be a joyous occasion - the dreaded cast was off!!!!! was now walk of shame/pain (not physical but emotional) for Lishai to the car. Ugly beige orthopedic shoes and the impending surgery apparently was running through her imagination because she was HYSTERICALLY crying and of course, I was making jokes about going to the next-door thrift shop to look for orthopedic shoes. "You are SO MEAN!" she screamed - um yah - sorry - my humor can be callus and in appropriate at times, admittedly.
Okay - so yes, she did calm down - after I explained to her the concept of a second opinion and the concept of PERCEPTION. What indeed had happened in that examining room - how many people were there (me, her, baby, nurses, doctor) - what was said and how each person in the room heard it, perceived it, and processed in in a different way. Also - what "Story" each one of us wrote in our heads about the conversation. Lishai went straight to "surgery and orthodics". I went to "second opinion, kinesiotaping, and arch support", the doctor went to "surgery and orthodics" and the pediatric nurse went to "no surgery, orthodics" each person had a different view of what was happening. I was excited because I always knew her foot was different and for me the mystery was solved. She had never had pain before and though the doctor didn't believe it - the nurse did and if she wasn't actively in pain - then surgery was probably now called for - but Lishai went there anyway and was miserable.
It makes one think - What perceptions am I making in certain incidences that are bringing me suffering? How can I change that perception to perhaps open myself up to a different possibility? Hm.mmmm.
Letter to Mikhail on his 1st birthday
Tommarrow is your first birthday, Mikhail, and I am reflecting on the past year. You are mostly bald with a little surfer blond sprout of hair growing in every direction on the top of your head with a brownish curly, frizzy mullet in the back - left over hair from when you were born. You are very interactive and smiley. You seem to have a sense of humor and an ease that I hope you carry throughout your life. You say: papa, abba, cat, and ga which could be gato. Everything alive that isn't human seems to be "cat" or "ga." You lift your fist and squeeze when you what "Tsi-Tsi" or "Halavi" - breast milk. You wave good bye and hello like a politician - a wave from your elbow. You love putting things in your mouth. You play with Ellah's littlest pet shop pets in the bath, and you love to drop things and have people pick them up for you - from the highchairs at restaurants, in the bath, in the stroller. You are an enthusiastic eater - from broccoli, to carrots, to mashed chicken, spinach, you eat kefir mixed with grain cereal in the morning, drink formula or breast milk, love to try drinking out of regular cups and beer bottles. You seem to like the taste of beer and wine - we are going to have to watch you! You like everything potentially dangerous and I have swept wood chips, pennies, beads, screws, etc out of your mouth. You spilled bleach all over the carpet and it is now safely stowed, high beyond your reach. You love to play with Sami, our cat, and pick up Izzy, the turtle. You are very amused by Ellah and Lishai and mommy and you love to laugh. You love to clap to "If you're happy and you know it" and you have a penchant for drumming since you were 3 months old. You are now toddlering - you have been walking since 10 months, you started to crawl at 6 months. You have huge feet (we noticed it when you were born) and are wearing size 18-24 months. Your doppelgänger is Harold from Harold and the Purple Crayon. You get mad when we take something away that is hazardous or that you can ruin like the remote, the telephone, or cellphone which you love to suck on. You like baby dolls and suck on their faces - giving them kisses. Your kisses often turn into nips and you are lovable and love to give zurburts.
You radiate light and people are attracted to you everywhere you go. "That is a happy baby," I hear frequently. Men and women both are drawn to your infectious smile and inviting face - you drool all over and you have 4 teeth on top and 2 on the bottom. You are a drool machine!
You play and explore on your own but you do not like to be left behind or you don't like to perceive yourself being left behind. You will wimpier and cry as you walk down the hallway until you catch the eye of me or Graciella. The apartment is small - but if we don't remain in eye contact - you get upset. You sit and play with Ellah's kitchen and you like to take baby wipes or towels and "clean." You are drawn to brooms and despite your small size - you want to mow lawns, sweep, and do big people stuff. Your head seems heavy and you like to nod and sometimes your head throws you off balance - but you pick yourself up and keep trying. You are now dissuaded by getting hit or bumping into things and so you vacillate between independence and wanting to be attached. You walk around with a little 2 ounce bottle and then you come and ask for breast with your smile and your fist squeezing the air.
You have brought me and your dad and sisters a lot of joy. You have been my light since my mom died. Whenever I am sad or missing my mom, I can look at your and see beauty and youth and joy. I love you so much and I am so glad that you have joined our family and that you are in my life. This year has been very challenging emotionally - I miss my mommy terribly and I have had to feel many different feelings - sadness, grief, anger, acceptance, anger, sadness, loss - and what has kept me sane and hopeful and brought me joy and light is your smile and your energy and my love for you and all that you are and all that you will be - I am so grateful for you and I am so excited to celebrate tomorrow - the day you were born! Happy Birthday Mikhail! aka Mikeli, mishmish, baby, little man, manuelito.
Investing in Health and 501K's...
When people talk about success and the future - usually investment portfolios are discussed along with financial strategies, you know, up and coming stocks and funds, real estate, marketing and investment strategies. Good ones: Pay yourself first! Take 10% of your income and SAVE! Develop passive income sources. All are good advice. But what is success and planning for the future if there isn't health and life?
What about investing in Health? I am as guilty as any of you - ignoring a chronic pain or symptom, hoping it will just go away. Denial is a great coping strategy! Love it! Then of course there is the Great Juggling Act: life, career, children, pets, parents, obligations, employees, business, cleaning house, cleansing clutter, planning and strategizing business ventures and financial opportunities, chauffeuring children to doctor's appointments, after school activities, cleaning pet terrarium, litter boxes, shopping and cooking and feeding offspring, etc. and whew! makes one sweat just thinking about the endless list of To Do's out there.
But at the core is the one inalienable Truth - if you don't have your health, what do you have?
How can you take care of everyone else if you don't take care of yourself?
Will you have the energy or will to take care of everyone else if you are not taking care of yourself?
Have we opened a Pandora's Box here? The One Truth is - each and everyone of us are responsible for our own well-being. We must (I am underlining and bold fonting this) - we MUST take care of ourselves - for our present sanity and well-being and for the future well-being we most certainly wish to own. So along with the rental-property and pension plans - invest in your health and wellness. Maintain your body, like you would the precious vehicle that you are. There are no trade-in's in this life - so you have to work with the vehicle you have been given. The Primary Fuel - self love, self acceptance, peace, meditation, exercise/stretching, healthy relationships, healthy perspectives - breathing, love, minimizing guilt/judgment, releasing resentments, feeling safe and secure, trusting, optimism, laughter, joy. The Secondary Fuel - whole grains, vegetables, seaplants, fruits, legumes, clean proteins, anti-oxidants, minerals, vitamins, essential fatty acids, immune boosting/hormone balancing herbs and super-foods. Feeding success and nourishing self is addressed in Integrative Nutrition by Joshua Rosenthal - Nurturing your body, feeding your soul - sounds good! Exterior maintenance - healthy cleaning products, natural body products, massage, supportive therapies - acupuncture, biofeedback, chiro, crania-sacral therapies, etc. Whatever works for your vehicle.
As we are nourished and maintained, so we can look outward and work on our community on our society and on our earth.
Taking care of others without neglecting ourselves - that is the balance for optimal health and well being. So I encourage you as I encourage myself.
My commitment for May: Hiking two days a week, Yoga at least once a week. Weekly massage/scrubbing - at a spa or in my own bathroom. Reading, meditating daily - when I can. Writing daily. And yes - putting 10% away and all that too!!!! What are you committing to this month?
Outnumbered - post 1
Out numbered. How to survive and thrive when your minors outnumber the majors? This is a subject I will visit again and again.
Today we celebrated Mikhail's first birthday. Quite unaware of the date - I scheduled his first birthday on Mother's Day. The turn out was small, the menu limited to an assortment of bagels, a trio of cream cheese flavors: chive/scallion, plain, and wild smoked salmon. The necessary bagel dressings were present: tomato, cucumber, red onion, lemon slices and capers, along with our now traditional coffee-traveler from Starbucks, some 100% juice Capri-Suns and the cake. Having baked on two separate evenings - Beautiful Rosewater/Vanilla cakes for Teacher Appreciation luncheons for the respective schools of each of the girls, I was all baked out - Mikhail's first birthday cake was engineered from a Trader's Joes ready made angel food cake, whipped cream canisters, and strawberries - with the help of Ellah and her friends. Ultimately, Mikhail was happy with a strawberry - so he has yet to taste cake, but all the little guests slurped it up. A minor party by the Yaelle Shaphir standard - 10 kids including our own, and 11 adults - but a lovely time was had by all. The key was not going crazy - something I am guilty of for past party situations. The truth? I love a good event - and while I would not like to do it for a living - I live for event planning for birthdays, etc. I love taking the child's theme wish - weaving an adventure tale, planning the menu and activities - and doing it on a budget. I was going to make burkes with delicious fillings - spinach and feta, mushroom and cashew, potato and mushroom, etc. Dedi dissuaded me and I am thankful. The key is to simplify so as not to drive yourself crazy.
Now with three children and two adults in the house - it is much harder to have a moment to myself, especially when the youngest is an infant, still connected to the breast. So when I do get a moment - I savor it, relish it and optimize it - take a 45 minute hike, catch an episode of a favorite show, write a few pages, take a nap or meditate. Granted, I have learned to hike with a 25 pound baby on my back and enjoy the experience, I am currently writing with a 5 year old leaning on my elbow, but the solitary moment is precious and appreciated. The conflict that arises between the two adults is due to the fact that neither feels appreciated or acknowledged in their respective endeavors - so communication is key to the partnership working. If the adults are not on the same page - the children sense weakness and will use that weakness to wreck havoc. Our youngest senses negativity and will reflect it in her actions and behavior. She becomes a raving maniac when someone else in the house in irritable or upset. Its like she is not only a magnet but an amplifier - so if Dedi or I or her sister are upset - she sucks that negative energy, it chemically explodes into a nuclear blast that then reverberates throughout the home. Crazy and over the top? Do you know a small child like this? What it does is makes us super conscious of our mood/energy/vibe.
Surviving and thriving involves taking much needed parent "time-outs", making sure the parental body is nourished - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, making sure the parental bodies are working in synch and ultimately knowing that our children are their own independent beings and we are here to support and love and accept that their weaknesses are also our own - as we have to stay present, empowered and work with self-aknowledgement, self-acceptance, self-awareness, and self-discipline first and foremost.
Am I a Saint? Far from it. Though according to my friend, Liza, I am. I wish I had more patience. I wish I could remain in awareness, in gratitude, in the present moment during all motherhood moments. Unfortunately - breakdowns occur (more often than I would like) but the breakdowns are also empowering. Within the context of the breakdown is a breakthrough - an opportunity for deep reflection, a reminder, an opportunity for a clearer intention and possibility - and so there is a moment where one chooses - to self-judge, self-critize or blame, move into guilt, regret and remorse or to acknowledge, learn and share. We, adults are not perfect and by sharing our own mistakes and lessons and processes in a way a child can understand - they can see we are fallible and it is ok to try and fail, it is ok to make mistakes - especially if there is a safe place to share and discuss and re-visit and ultimately learn from actions/behaviors that are the "mistakes."
Mother's Day without Mom
Mother's Day is Sunday. Quite by accident, I scheduled Mikhail's first birthday that morning, so of course - the majority of the invited guests have plans of their own. Which is fine - there still will be a nice dozen or two and we will serve bagels, coffee, juice and cake. If I am feeling particularly ambitious - I will make burekas. Today I was overcome with sadness and tears. Which surprised me. I am amazed by the disconnect of my brain and heart sometimes. Mom always scoffed at Mother's Day. "It is a Hallmark holiday created to sell greeting cards," she would say. "Everyday should be Mother's Day." Regardless - I have come to have expectations of acknowledgment on this day, as I am very clear that every day is NOT mother's day. Every day is everyone else's day. So at least once a year (well, there is birthday and valentine's day and anniversary day), Mother's around the world, or at least in America are celebrated - toasted, taken to brunch, etc. So the guests coming to Mikhail's party are either also revolutionaries against the Hallmark propaganda or they are orphans or far far away from their mothers. This is my first Mother's Day since mom's passing and the loss and sadness didn't hit me until Sherry said - this is your first Mother's Day without Sheffy. When she said it, it struck home. In the last few years, she has not lived near me and yet, despite this - knowing that she existed despite her ailments and me taking the role of parent, she was/is my mother. Connecting to the loss and sadness of her not being here brought tears. I remember her saying, when her father passed away - "When you parent dies, it feels like you are an orphan. It doesn't matter if you are 5 or 50 - it still feels like you have been abandoned." So there it is - I will honor her and celebrate Mikhail's Birthday in one swell sweep.
I think of growing up with a hippy mom. There weren't a lot of rules. I had my own self defined curfew. There was no need to rebel because there were no rules to rebel against. And so I was a straight A, honor student, Varsity athlete, Student Government Secretary, graduated Summa Cum Laude and overall good kid. Today I realize that the rebellion came in the form of perspective. My mom was an optimist, a dreamer, a "glass is Always full", "I am GREAT!" in the face of daily challenges and then ultimately in the throes of ALS/Parkinson's. I was/am sarcastic, cynical, pragmatic. "How can you be GREAT, when sometimes you are not?" I would ask. I remember when I was 16, she would give me money for a cab. "If you or the driver is drinking take a cab or spend the night and call me early in the morning to let you know you are alright." She would go to sleep by 9pm and wake up by 5-6am. There was no rules or reprimands such as: "Don't drink!" rather it was a given that experimentation would take place and I was to be responsible for my own person. It was liberating and exciting but even I saw the flaws in the logic. If I was dead on the side of the road, I wouldn't be able to call her in the morning to let her know I was alright. My mom used to say that she would not get out of bed in the morning if she was in a bad mood. She would stay in bed until she could begin the day in a positive mind frame. Only now, can I appreciate her strength, her power, and her determination. Being prone to fits of melancholy, as I suppose most people are - it is very easy to get into dis-empowered states of being - depression, morose, pessimism. What she was trying to share with me was that we have a choice at every given moment for who we are being. Do I choose to be bitter or depressed? Do I choose to be empowered and optimistic? What benefits does my choice give me? I used to say - I am an optimist until I am not. I am an optimist and a realist. Unfortunately, I only saw my mom through my rebellious teenager attitude - sarcasm and cynicism were my rebellion versus my mom's airy-fairy, slightly deluded, hippy optimist. Now that she is gone and I am a mother and faced with very strong minded children, I realize how much strength, truth and power my mom really had and I with I could tell her again and again how amazing she was and how much she is a role model for me as I navigate my own Motherhood.
What's the Deal with Comments?
Being a relatively newbie with the whole blogging thing, why is it the comments I am receiving look like advertising for products and otherwebsites? From belts, to sunglasses to motorcycles - comments with poor grammar, spelling mistakes and sales are the only comments I am receiving. Anyone out there actually enjoying the content of this blog? HEEEELLLLOOOOO????
LOL - well - if anyone has ideas on how to stop the madness - please respond. But if you are trying to advertise your erectile disfunction medication or your ellie tahari or gucci knock-off outlet - please ignore this post!
Easy Meditations for you to incorporate into a Busy Schedule
Meditation is an important part of minimizing stress. If you can minimize stress - you are aiding in your overall health and well-being.
Dr. Chris George, D.C. - shared a way to get in 10-15 minutes of meditation for any professional.
*set your smartphone timer to alert you every hour
* When your alert sounds, turn away from your computer monitor
*Set your smartphone timer for 1 minute
* Place your hands on your lap or do the following smiling meditation
* or Breathe in for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of four.
Option: As your inhale, think: "Let" as your exhale, think: "Go"
*When the 1 minute time goes off - check in with yourself - how was that? And continue working. After 10 hours you will have done 10 minutes of meditation.
***Smiling meditation has been a part of Chinese medicine for thousands of years. Don Lee, L.Ac., founder of the Academy of Orthopedic Acupuncture recommends doing this smiling meditation every day for 90 seconds:
- Sit, stand or lie down in a quiet area.
- Place your right hand on your abdomen and your left hand on top of your right. Or vice versa- it doesn’t matter.
- Close your eyes and grin. It also helps to imagine a smile in your eyes and heart.
- As you breathe in feel your abdomen fully rise and then fall as you exhale. Breathe slowly and fully. Focus your mind on your breath. If you get distracted by your thoughts simply let them go and return to your breath. 90 seconds is about 9 full slow deep breaths.
You can do this before going to sleep, as a way to take a break, or whenever you are in a clutch situation.
Have a Beautiful Day!!!!!!!
Budding foodie....
Just one small thing to post - my 5 year old is a budding foodie! Joining the ranks of foodies in the fan - Ellah discovers that dipping her smoked salmon in raw orange blossom flower is "Delicious!" "Amazing!" "Delightful!"
Meanwhile, Lishai is gagging in her napkin.
Small joys....
Have a beautiful day!
Staying Connected
Today may have not been the most productive day.
Though I wouldn't want to sell myself short.
Three Days a week- life feels like it is a back-to-back scavenger hunt/obstacle course race of "things to do" - Wake up, feed baby, give husband baby - fall back to sleep for 1 hour while he feeds children, supervises dress up/clean up/get ready for school with and without obligatory threats. Wake up, pump, leave my baby with a loving adult (husband or nanny), and hike nearby hill for 50 minutes, go to work, see patients/clients - listen to them, treat them and at the end of the day - drive to pick up each girl at her respective school, get home, make dinner, supervise homework, bath, brush teeth, book, two minutes (never actually 2 minutes) remind eldest child to "feed your cat!" and by (optimistically) 9:30pm - I can check emails, blog, work on websites, return phone calls, do dishes, and or read a book/watch a show (currently season 3 of Lie to Me - LOVE IT!). Does any of this sound familiar? Go to bed not early which makes sense rationally - because I want some time to myself! (I know you are nodding your head in agreement).
So on a tuesday or thursday - life changes pace a bit. The Routine is flexible and I can do as much or as little as I please as long as it is baby friendly.
Today - husband dropped off children at school and I got to sleep in!!!!! Since baby is still glued to the boob at night (I know, I know - Use Your Crib!) - sleep is still a problem from 1am-6am. Then as baby took morning snooze - I returned client phone calls (some a week late - whoops!) and emails. Then I spoke with a girlfriend I haven't spoken to in months. Then I Skyped my aunt in Israel for 34 minutes. We went to Mommy and Me Yoga at Golden Bridge - a nice Kundalini set on removing Guilt - which worked the upper body. did some shopping (glue sticks for kinder project, cotton balls for work and blood worms for garden - yech!) Came home, baby slept and I Skyped my best friend from college for another 30-odd minutes (guilt free pleasure!), , and then took a walk and stopped for a cup (or two of iced tea0 with friend. Then pick up girls at 6pm from Religious school and the nighttime routine begins a new.
So what if there are 37 things that remain on my To Do List? They will still be there tomorrow...
Connecting with friends and family? Priceless!
Flower Essences - Effective Energetic Medicine or Placebo?
Okay - for those of you that don't know - Flower Essences are herbal infusions or decoctions, made from the flowering part of the plant. They allegedly or reportedly , which "uniquely address emotional and mental aspects of wellness." The first 38 flower remedies were formulated by a British physician, Dr. Edward Bach, in the 1930's, although new remedies from other plant species are now available.
Basically, flower are place in spring water in the sun for 2-4 hours. The water absorbs the energy or essence of the flower and is "impregnated". The water is then preserved with an alcohol. The original Bach essences preserved in Brandy. Then that "Mother" tincture is in the stock bottle. You can then take a few drops from the Mother and mix or make a new bottle - the dilution of it doesn't weaken it. You take a few drops a few times a day and reportedly - the energetics of the flower essence balance body and mind.
Flower essences where (pun intended) a little to air/fairy for me. Until I saw the results. My (now 10 year old) started grinding her teeth at night at the age of 14 months. I tried everything - massage, herbs, acupuncture - nothing helped. Western Pediatric Doctors - didn't have a remedy. Then at the Northern California Women's Herbal Symposium (when she was almost 3 years old) - a lady doused some bottles and made Lishai a essence remedy with wild lettuce, orange and something else. She put it in glycerin instead of brandy and told lishai to take a few drops every day. Lishai liked it immediately and called it, "My Sweetness" - the bottle ran out within 3 weeks - and her nightly teeth grinding stopped! Unbelievable. A few years later, also at the NCWHS - I took a workshop in flower essence making.
It makes sense if you consider that we are all energetic beings and the energy of the natural world around us has an imprint. Why certain plants or flowers would have certain properties - emotionally or mentally - is certainly up for discussion. I do know that people who are sensitive to energy do well with flower essences and definitely children and animals respond.
That being said - upon reflection of the emotional/mental health of my household - I thought - my middle child could possibly benefit from a remedy. Upon further reflection - I thought - um...I could probably benefit from a remedy....and my husband....and my 10 year old. Found a great site call FEELBACH that has really reasonably priced customized remedies - used some kinesiology to pick out the right combo for each of us and now I am waiting for USPS to do their thing. Will up date you with results - if everyone in the family will take them.
Ex. For the 5 years old: WALNUT - Allows you to make or adapt to major life changes and to fulfill your ambitions free from the influence of others SWEET CHESTNUT - Brings optimism and peace of mind when anguish overwhelms you and you can find no way out LARCH- Instills a greater sense of self-esteem when you feel inferior, fear failure or lack confidence GORSE -Encourages a brighter, more positive perspective when you feel there is no hope left CRAB APPLE - Helps you accept your physical imperfections and feel better about the way you are CHERRY PLUM - Helps you act rationally and think clearly with a calm and balanced mind when you fear losing control.
Anyone have any experience with flower essences?
Why I am boycotting Fisher-Price...
I received a Fisher-Price "Friendly Firsts" Ducky Rattle Stacker for baby as a gift from one of my husband's kind clients. It does not say that it is BPA-free so I tried contacting FP to get the low down as I know that baby will be gumming those rings like nobody's business.
Couldn't get through on the telephone so tried contacting them the online way - web chat.
I loved this conversation and had to share:
Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...
You have been connected to Susan.
Susan: Hi YAELLE, thank you for contacting Fisher Price. My name is Susan. How can I help you today?
YAELLE SHAPHIR: GOT A FISHER PRICE FIRENTLY FIRSTS - DUCKY RATTLE STACKER FOR A GIFT FOR MY BABY AND I AM WONDERING IF IT IS BPA-FREE AS IT DOES NOT SAY ON THE BOX
Susan: I can look into this for you. I just need to get a little more information. Do you have the product with you right now?
YAELLE SHAPHIR: IT IS STILL IN THE PACKAGING
YAELLE SHAPHIR: NEXT TO ME
Susan: I am looking for the product number. It will be in the area where the bar code is.
Susan: It should be a letter followed by four numbers.
YAELLE SHAPHIR: ON THE TOP IS N1070 UNDER THE BAR CODE IT IS
Susan: Thanks!
Susan: Do you also see a date code? It would be four numbers followed by 2 letters in the same area.
YAELLE SHAPHIR: 1305TLB
Susan: Thanks for your help.
Susan: Do you recall when you got it and also which store you purchased it at?
YAELLE SHAPHIR: MY BABY IS 10 MONTHS OLD AND GOT IT 11 MONTHS AGO. I DID NOT PURCHASE IT. RECEIVED IT AS A GIFT FROM CLIENT
Susan: Thanks so much.
YAELLE SHAPHIR: PROBABLY TOYS R US
Susan: Just one moment while I do some research for you.
Susan: Ingredient and Global manufacturing information can be found here.
The agent is sending you to http://corporate.mattel.com/about-us/cr-csreport.aspx.
Susan: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
YAELLE SHAPHIR: CAN YOU JUST TELL ME IF THERE IS BPA OR NOT
Susan: Just one moment and I will look for additional information for you.
Susan: Thank you for your patience.
YAELLE SHAPHIR: WHEN I LOOKED AT THAT LINK IT SAID THE PAGE COULD NOT BE FOUND
Susan: We do not have anything that specifically states whether your product is bpa free. I am sorry.
Susan: Let me check the page for you please.
YAELLE SHAPHIR: THANK YOU
The agent is sending you to http://corporate.mattel.com/about-us/cr-csreport.aspx.
Susan: I checked and the website is working. I am sorry it didn't come up.
Susan: I did check for you and we do not have information stating whether or not the product is bpa free.
Susan: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
YAELLE SHAPHIR: OH WELL - I WILL DONATE IT. FISHER-PRICE KNOWS THAT BPA IS TOXIC RIGHT?
Susan: I believe this issue would be better handled over the phone. Please contact us at 1-888-253-4303. Please reference your email address when you call.
Susan: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
YAELLE SHAPHIR: I TRIED CALLING BUT DIDN'T GET A RESPONSE. HAVE A NICE DAY.
Susan: I hope you will try this number again.
Susan: Thank you for contacting Fisher Price. Have a nice day!
I Keep Catching a Cold!
This winter - Patient X (actually Patient X is a large number of people) comes in. "I don't understand it! I keep getting sick! I have caught a cold 4-5 times this winter. I have been sick on and off since Novemeber!" (It is February). The primary complaint is that Patient X is miserable, tired, Patient X's nose is either stuffed or dripping or sinus pressure or coughing or hoarse. Patient X thinks maybe it is allergies or low immunity. Patient X keeps getting sick!
We live in a society where there is basically this "go, go, Go!" mentality. Also we LOVE "Quick Fixes." High Fever - take tylenol/advil - fever reducer. Congested? Mucinex (sp?), Nyquil, Robitussin, etc. anti-histamine, decongestant, etc.
But where in this mix is the immune enhancing support?
Well, if you are sick and have to go to work - what do you do? You grab what will give you immediate relief and feeling a bit better, you go to work. At work, you Get your work done, Spread your sickness (as most viruses are airborne - Share, Share, Share generously with your co-workers in your central Air/Heating contained Fish Bowl your germs), then go home and pass out.
And I ask you again: Where is the immune enhancing support?
Whole Foods is pricey and major retail, however, they have a congenial return policy - so if you keep your receipt and you are not happy with a supplement - you can return it, despite having opened it and tried it.
That being said - the following have been used to effectively enhance immunity, fight off illness. I will legally say - check with your physician (to cover my liable behind) however, in the end - everyone must find what works for them.
1. oscillococcinium - www.oscillo.com - still my favorite when just starting with aches, chills, headache - "flu"ey - just starting to get sick symptoms.
2. Sambucol or Elderberry - immune enhancement for respiratory/cough symptoms
3. Sinusin (Euphorbium) nasal spray for congestion - I use this on the kids a lot when they come home sniffling or congested or runny.
4. Homeopathic - kid's remedies for cough - the First Aid Kit for Kids is great use there is an index with symptoms so you can choose everything from cuts/bruises (arnica), teething (chamomile), to phos (runny nose, cough), to high fever (belladonna).
5. Evergreen herbs (have to go through TCM practitioner not retail) - Magnolia Clear Sinus (for runny, sneezing - allergies or first sign of cold), Pueraria Clear Sinus (for yellow/green, headache, sinus pressure, congestion), Herbal ENT (for bacterial/viral colds affecting nose, throat and ears), and Herbal ABX - an antiviral/antibacterial formula that is great to kick things out before they get crazy. Respitrol Deficient for Wheezing/Asthma, Respitrol Cold or Heat for Cough - Bronchitis/Upper Respiratory illnesses.
Change your Toothbrushes or disinfect so you don't re-infect yourself!
Gargle with salt water or garlic or goldenseal - gross but effective.
Other options: colloidal silver or grapefruit seed extract - not my go to's but others love it.
It could be true that you keep catching whatever is floating around - and there are always several viruses circulating. But it could also be true that you just never actually kicked out the first one that you had. The "herd" of bacteria/germs were killed off by your immune system, but the rogue germs hid out, regrouped and came back with vengeance!
Also - stay away from SUGAR (lowers immunity and bacterial LOVE it!) it is feeding the enemy. Stay away from Dairy and white flour- causes mucus in the system.
And support yourself with probiotics.
Wishing you good health this Spring!
And if al
Only after
"The Secret" or "Explaining Neuronal Pathways" to a 5 year old
Have you ever drawn a line in the dirt with your finger? Then keep drawing it over and over again. Do you see how it gets deeper and deeper and stronger and bigger? That is what we do in our brains with our thoughts and behaviors. When we learn something new - the first time is hard - ice skating, riding a bike, learning to read - we have to practice and practice and practice and practice - so that we learn how to get good at something. In the beginning it is hard and then it gets easier - and soon you are doing it without even thinking about it! Well - every time you do it - you are making a line in your brain and it is getting bigger and deeper. So it is really important when we have thoughts about ourselves that they be good, positive thoughts like, "I am smart, I am kind, I am beautiful, I am loved." Because those thoughts and feelings are making stronger and deeper lines in your brain. When you say bad things like, "I am stupid, I hate myself, I wish I weren't living, nobody likes me," you are making those lines deeper and deeper and stronger in your brain. And from the conversation we had before (refer to previous post) - we know that feelings and thoughts change - so a Key to life and happinesses is making strong lines in our brains that will make us and keep us happy.
(Used this with my 5 year old and she seemed to get it.)
"The Secret" or "Explaining Neuronal Pathways" to a 5 year old
Have you ever drawn a line in the dirt with your finger? Then keep drawing it over and over again. Do you see how it gets deeper and deeper and stronger and bigger? That is what we do in our brains with our thoughts and behaviors. When we learn something new - the first time is hard - ice skating, riding a bike, learning to read - we have to practice and practice and practice and practice - so that we learn how to get good at something. In the beginning it is hard and then it gets easier - and soon you are doing it without even thinking about it! Well - every time you do it - you are making a line in your brain and it is getting bigger and deeper. So it is really important when we have thoughts about ourselves that they be good, positive thoughts like, "I am smart, I am kind, I am beautiful, I am loved." Because those thoughts and feelings are making stronger and deeper lines in your brain. When you say bad things like, "I am stupid, I hate myself, I wish I weren't living, nobody likes me," you are making those lines deeper and deeper and stronger in your brain. And from the conversation we had before (refer to previous post) - we know that feelings and thoughts change - so a Key to life and happinesses is making strong lines in our brains that will make us and keep us happy.
(Used this with my 5 year old and she seemed to get it.)
Keys to Life explained to a 5 year old
Faced with writing a "Dr.Seuss" inspired story, Ellah, age 5, has a complete meltdown. With her right hand clenched in a fist, she begins to hit the side of her head. "I am stupid! I am stupid! I wish I was never alive!" Ellah has just learned word families, like cat, hat, mat, rat, and fin, tin, bin, din, etc. To put the words into sentences into a Dr. Seuss-like story is too much. "Let's go to bed." I say. "No!" she screams. She continues to berate herself, "I hate myself, my brain is going to explode!" The force and ferocity of her thoughts and feelings seem so beyond her little 5 year old frame. The idea of not completing the homework is unacceptable to her. "I'm tired!" she continues to scream and hit herself and pinch her stomach until it is red. I look at her numbly and think, "This is the Kindergarden version of cutting!" "Why is she hurting herself?" My 10 year old asks. She is clearly disturbed and perplexed by the behavior. There is no reasoning with the 5 year old mind. I try distraction, "Let's watch your birth video." Her home birth has been edited into a beautiful 4 minute movie with Aradhana Silvermoon's "Pray" - a soothing beautiful melody. We watch it and she calms down. "Do you see how hard it was to make you?" I say. "It is not okay for you to hurt yourself." We watch the video a few times and she calms down and writes a sentence and goes to bed. The next day, I think about the conversation I want to have with her. Hers are thoughts and feelings beyond what I would imagine a 5 year old having. They seem so Big and Overwhelming for such a small, loving, sweet, empathic child. The other side of her is so caring, loving, compassionate, empathic.
I pick her up from school. "I had a Great Day!" she says with a smile that will light up a city. "I am so glad!" I reply. We talk about her day and then I broach the subject that I have been thinking of since the following night's meltdown.
Here is how I put it: Me: "Do you know what KEYS are for?" Her: "What do you mean?" Me: "You know how Keys open things, like the house door, or they start things like a car?" Her: "Yes."
This is the gist of my lecture: "There are Keys to Life and Being Happy that you will learn and they are going to make it much easier to be happy and to deal with hard things in your life. Do you remember once I told you, "You have the power to be happy or sad. And you said, "You say I have the power, but I don't have the power!" You will learn keys that will give you the power you need to be happy. One key that you already have learned is the alphabet. Once you know the A,B,C's you can start to put words together and you will learn to read and write. So the A,B,C's are an important Key in life. Another important Key is Feelings. When you were small, and you were frustrated and angry, I would say to you, "You look angry." You would yell angrily, "I am NOT angry!" and I would say, "Then you look frustrated." You would yell angrily, "I am NOT frustrated!" and then I would say, "Well are you Happy?" and you would grumble, "I am NOT happy!" Well - acknowledging or understanding your feelings is a Key to being about to control your mood and having the power to be happy. Those bad thoughts and feelings that you had yesterday, do you have them today?"
Her answer: "No." My response: "So you know that they are not true. Do you hate yourself? or Are you stupid?" Her answer: "No." My response: "So even though yesterday, those feelings and thoughts felt very real, you see that today - they are not real. So feelings are important but they are not facts. They are not real things. They change. Instead of saying such mean and bad things about yourself and others. If you use the Key of Feelings to say how you feel. Then that is the Key. Instead of saying, "I hate myself, I am stupid, I wish I weren't alive," You need to say your feelings: "I am frustrated, I am angry, I am sad." Her response: "And then I can ask to watch my birth video." Exactly - whatever you need to do to calm down and shift into a better state.
The other topic I broached that day was the idea of neuronal pathways in the brain. How did I explain this to a 5 year old? Read on...
There's nothing like a "Good" sickness to put Life into Perspective!
There's nothing like a "good" ass-kicking sickness to put life into perspective. Last week I was sick as a "strephed" out puppy. What started out as flu-like symptoms on Saturday night, turned into a swollen, tonsillitis nightmare that kept getting worse to the point that on Thursday, I dragged myself to a walk-in clinic and upon viewing the "Rocky Mountain Skyline" that was my throat - she promptly handed me 7 days of Amoxacillin. I was inspired to write: "Ode to Amoxacillin - Oh, Amoxacilin, you ain't the villain. With the pain in my throat, tonsils all a coat, you've come to my aid,the stand-byes have betrayed, goldenseal and herbal abx ain't doing the trick, you've come in the nick, you are my knight in shining armor, j'amore!"
The usual wonder herbs and supplements: Oscillo, Herbal ABX, Herbal ENT, Goldenseal Tincture did not cut it this time. Had to bring in the Nukes - and within 12 hours and 2 dosages later - I could swallow and talk again. That being said - not loving the Yeasty side effects of the antibiotics - cutting out sugar, taking the yogurt and probiotics and the homeopathic stuff on the other end - to nip it in the bud. So now feeling good - physically, emotionally - this is mom's birthday today - so we celebrated with a fruit plate in the morning. My mom would make beautiful bountiful esthetic fruit plate mandalas for my birthday every year. I continued the tradition with my girls. So Ellah's 5 year old version was 10 blueberries and 5 strawberries in a bowl. It's the symbolism that counts! We sang Savta Sheffy "Happy Birthday" and Mikhail managed to suck on and smear Strawberry Juice over the bed and carpet and....So now, showered after a Hike (mom would approve, she walked an hour or so with her friend Dorothy several times a week when she was well), I am off to work. Enjoy your day and be grateful!
Pediatric Acupuncture Treatments abound in our Household
Between having a baby, writing a young adult novel, taking care of (now) 3 kids and husband and a busy acupuncture practice - oh ya - I have neglected the acumomma blog - for shame!
The newest and coolest:
Treated baby Mikhail (now 9 months and cutting two front upper teeth) with a quick acu- treatment using LI4 and LU7 and ST36 when he came home from a breezy beach outing with papa - barefoot and in a short-sleeve t-shirt with frozen toes (in February? Really?) and a slight runny nose that turned into major cold, congestion the next day. Within minutes - the nose had dried up! Granted I threw in a Pediatric Sinus herbal tincture and a few drops of breast milk nasal spray (yes, possible and messy). The dry nose lasted a few hours and we have repeated. He is doing great!
Lishai came home with a slightly itchy and pus-y eye - Yay Conjunctivitis! So much fun! Started her on tea compresses, breast milk in the eye ("Disgusting" she says) and Lonicera Complex herbal formula (use that's what I had in the house) and an acupuncture treatment using distal points. 10 year olds are pushy patients - none in the stomach, in the face, here, there, you get the picture. Stuck to the GB34, Liv 3, SJ5, LI4, GB20.
She stated that her eye "felt better" after the treatment. Visually - the puffy-ness was gone. But I think mostly - she didn't want to cancel her snowboarding trip with friends!
That's all for now - Remember to Breathe - and Relax - it's all Small Stuff!
Let us envision together a world of interdependence
I will be performing with the Gong at an amazing event in 2 weeks:
Please join me! Student/Friends discount is $97 for the all day event.
A vision, A Gender Declaration of Interdependence, that offers unconditional support to Men and conceives a New Legacy for our Children
On November 16th, 2011, at the Century Plaza Hotel in Los Angeles will be a special experience. The theme is the Feminine Light in the Middle East -- designed to examine who we are as women, appreciate our talents, value ourselves, find joy in our purpose and honor the men who honor us.
On this day, we want to show gratitude for our blessings and achievements and join with others to create a voice of tolerance, leading the way toward greater personal and global fulfillment. Together we can work toward harmony that finds balance between the feminine and the masculine, a healthy legacy for our children.
Today, we turn our faces toward the women in the Middle East and explore ways to support them in their security, self-worth and purpose.
This day is the official launching of the Institute of Women’s Enlightenment and we will give birth to an action plan for working together toward the common good of women everywhere. We will:
· Develop our consciousness with regard to the nature of our identity as women
· Promote an exchange of ideas that will live on after the event
· Create a vision of understanding and encouragement
· Find practical ways to support women in the Middle East
· Develop an action plan for ensuring that women’s and girl’s voices are heard
It will be a day of discovery, illumination, definition, and enlightenment.
You’ll enjoy music, soulful sounds, savory tastes and celebrations of the Star Rose Awards.
20th high school reunion
38 years old - all attendees of the class of 1991 20th high school reunion. And here is my realization - we all fit into the following categories: married with kids, married without kids, single/divorced/widowed, working or not working.
That's it - all the cliches, all the "identifiers" - cheerleader, jock, hackey-sacker, junkie, drama geek, student body, what ever - all those identifiers can be grouped into middle aged column headings.
Not to be a debbie downer but for $130 a head (that was the sticker price) - mediocre food, a pricey bar, and reminiscing or not - I would have chosen something else to do with my time and money.
Like go with my husband to the school fundraiser - Vegas, Baby - casino night - he had great food, gambling - and walked away with the chip leader's prize - 4 nights in Mexican villa! Yay! have no idea where though - will get details tomarrow....
For free - uplifting video: http://www.mysticmamma.com/video-message-of-hopeintegrating-science-and-history/ click here - loved it!
Makes sense of the grand unrest being felt by many
That's it - all the cliches, all the "identifiers" - cheerleader, jock, hackey-sacker, junkie, drama geek, student body, what ever - all those identifiers can be grouped into middle aged column headings.
Not to be a debbie downer but for $130 a head (that was the sticker price) - mediocre food, a pricey bar, and reminiscing or not - I would have chosen something else to do with my time and money.
Like go with my husband to the school fundraiser - Vegas, Baby - casino night - he had great food, gambling - and walked away with the chip leader's prize - 4 nights in Mexican villa! Yay! have no idea where though -
will get details tomarrow....For free - uplifting video: http://www.mysticmamma.com/video-message-of-hopeintegrating-science-and-history/ click here - loved it!
Makes sense of the grand unrest being felt by many
Birthdays/Deathdays - the cycle of life
Today I was born - 38 years ago. A homebirth in Arizona - attended by my father and a midwife. My mother described the birth as "orgasmic" - I came out with the water with my eyes open and smiling - or so the legend and birth announcement goes...
This birthday is neither a big 0 or a middling 5 - those seem to be the big milestone birthdays -
But it is the first birthday since my mother died/passed/transitioned 3 months ago.
I feel her absence acutely, painfully so. It began yesturday and rather than feeling joy and excitement for this birth - day - I feel an acute sense of loss and grief.
She would not want it so - for my mom - life was about celebrating - birthdays, report cards, first days of school, everything was a reason for a celebration. Mother's day shouldn't be annual per the tradition and Hallmark cards - Mother's day should be celebrated daily!
Every birthday, I would wake up to a fruit plate - a lovely mandala of my favorite berries, exotic fruits - lovingly, and purposefully and artistically rendered by my mom - the faves - blue/black/straw/raspberries along with the exotic - pineapple, mango, papaya, kiwi, maybe guava/passionfruit. Each fruit was firm, not overly ripe - just like I like it.
I have tried to continue this tradition with my family and last year each daughter and hubbie made their version and presented to me in bed which was the pinacle - years of investment paying off! This year - hubbie is working all day, and the plate of cut up fruit on the plate put together before he ran to work - was maybe his best, but made me miss mom even more.
So how can I honor my mom? How do I stop crying? - Probably the first stop off this pity wagon is acceptance of what is and what isn't. Okay, now what?
I am going to go make my own fruit mandala - in honor of my birthday day and my mom's love and energy pushing me out 38 years ago.
Baby's digestion and colic
In the hospital, the night nurse tried to get me to give Mishmish tylenol for pain. I told her I had no problem giving him tylenol but I as far as I could tell - he was in no discomfort despite his fall - he was smiling and all in all acting his usual self. She showed me the hospital's pain chart and pointed out that he was kicking his legs (a sign of pain), grunting and bringing his legs up to his chest (sign of pain) - I explained to her that in his 2 months of existance - that was normal behavior for him - "he is a grunter and farter" I told her - and he kicks alot - he is an active baby. Then she stated that his resting heart rate was high 150. I asked if sugar water would work. They had given me some sugar water to put on the pacifier to calm him when doctors came to inspect him. I know from research I have read that sugar is a natural pain-killer in infants - hence the grape juice prior to circumcision and lollipops after shots/vaccinations. She assurred me that it was not the same. She just wanted to make sure the "pain did not spiral out of control" - I was perplexed by that statement and while she typed away at the computer in the room. I tabbed the pacifier in the sugar water and stuck it in his mouth. He immediately began to suckle and his heart rate went down to 135. "That blows my theory out the window" the night nurse laughed.
On a side note - Mishmish has received acupuncture on Ren12, ST36 for the digestion - to strengthen his spleen/stomach and the Earth - to great effect.
Also Bao He Wan (used for food stagnation) by Blue Poppy - a pediatric line in tincture form - 1 dropperful - is great when he is grunting and working out a poo that is stubborn. Within 10-15 minutes he has a poo and seems happier.
Sleep Deprivation, Avoidable Mistakes, and Lessons Learned
Little man aka Mishmish (apricot in hebrew) is now two months old, waking up twice at night - I am fine with the 3 1/2-4 1/2 hour blocks of sleep. Really I am. Throw into the mix a 5 year old coughing all night and you have a completely different story. After 3 nights of vigilant watch and care - the worst is when she looks at you at 3 in the morning and states "I have NEVER felt so bad in my Life!" - sleep deprivation causes worry and desperation to flood the psyche. After a day at work and a night of childcare - the only thing I knew was - I needed to get the girl something to eat - whatever she wanted, I was going to prepare. Salmon? no problem - coming right up. But what about the baby who lasts 3.8 minutes in any swing, seat, bouncer before breaking out in vocal protest? "I can't leave him on the floor, at least if he is up on the counter, I can talk to him while I chop" was the logical conclusion (yes, I am blaming sleep deprivation for the rationalization). I turned my head for a moment and crash!
I see little man on the floor, I pick him up, he is shocked for a second and begins to SCREAM! I comfort him and he settles down - I notice a large lump the size of a marble on the side of his head and immediately call the ped. She assures me that though it is probably nothing - babies are resiliant - take him to the ER. Salmon be damned - I grab my sick 5 year old, call my husband to meet me and take the girl- last thing I want is her in the hospital catching God Knows What. Cedars Sinai is 10 minutes away and I am rushed to the front of the line. As we are being admitted, he nurses - already I have been assured by the nurses that the fact that he did not lose conciousness, and he is nursing are good signs.
Long story short - after 6 hours in the ER, a CAT scan of the brain, and full body X-ray - Mishmish is fine - no brain damage/bleeding, a slight skull fracture, no concussion. He exhibited no change in his demenour except when someone dared touch his bump, which disappeared within 18 hours. We spent the night on the Pediatric floor for observation. Spontaneous Hemorrhage may occur within 24 hours so we were kept for observation. Luckily - Mishmish was fine and no procedures were necessary.
Important Lessons:
1. looking at pupil dilation or lack therof after a fall - is only for severe damage. You can have a problem a few hours or next day. So keep checking.
2. most important is the soft fontanel - it must remain soft and dented - if it bulges there is inflammation/bleeding - big problem
3. don't put seats on counters/tables/chairs/anything elevated!!!!!!
4. You have an accident and your child is under 1 year of age - be prepared - by law - you are going to have to talk to a social worker in the hospital, an emergency county social worker, a police officer, and then a county social worker will be assigned to your family and interview everyone in the family.
5. Mistakes happen and you can't beat yourself up about it and you must forgive yourself and treat yourself with compassion.
6. Mistakes are sometimes preventable - learn from them and pass on the info - so others don't do the same stupid thing!
Back in The Swing of Things...
I cannot believe how time flies - and all you can do is grab on to Its coat tails and go for the ride! Little man is almost 2 months old and has increased his birth weight by 50%! He is doing exactly what he is supposed to do - eat, poop, sleep - and he does it well apparently. He is more alert - and if I can be genderist - he is already a true man - all he does all day is grunt and fart .
For Colic/Stomach discomfort - There is a great chinese herbal tincture by blue poppy which is for kids (glycerine based) called Quiet Nites and is based on a popular "Food Stagnation" formula called Bao He Wan - I have used this - 1/2 a dropperful - when he seems uncomfortable - grunting away working on a b.m. and it really seems to help.
Little Man seems to not appreciate caffeine - coffee/chocolate/ etc seems to upset his stomach when imbibed through breastmilk. The girls are adjusting - My eldest, turned 10 is an amazing helper and my almost 5 year old who "loves her brother!!!!" is going through the typical regression - talking like a baby and wanting to be the baby - good times. Too bad Patience isn't patented in a pill - I would buy some!
I am back to work and while I seem to be helping my patients/clients - I am the first to admit to them/the world/anyone who will listen - that my brain is running on 70% - luckily, that seems to be enough. However, I am looking forward to the day when I have a full night's sleep - or at least a 6 hour block - and my cognition improves.
Anyone enjoying "baby brain" out there? Astragalus (Huang Qi) seems to help a bit!
.For Colic/Stomach discomfort - There is a great chinese herbal tincture by blue poppy which is for kids (glycerine based) called Quiet Nites and is based on a popular "Food Stagnation" formula called Bao He Wan - I have used this - 1/2 a dropperful - when he seems uncomfortable - grunting away working on a b.m. and it really seems to help.
Little Man seems to not appreciate caffeine - coffee/chocolate/ etc seems to upset his stomach when imbibed through breastmilk. The girls are adjusting - My eldest, turned 10 is an amazing helper and my almost 5 year old who "loves her brother!!!!" is going through the typical regression - talking like a baby and wanting to be the baby - good times. Too bad Patience isn't patented in a pill - I would buy some!
I am back to work and while I seem to be helping my patients/clients - I am the first to admit to them/the world/anyone who will listen - that my brain is running on 70% - luckily, that seems to be enough. However, I am looking forward to the day when I have a full night's sleep - or at least a 6 hour block - and my cognition improves.
Anyone enjoying "baby brain" out there? Astragalus (Huang Qi) seems to help a bit!
Acknowledgment
Okay - I wouldn't tell you to do this if I wasn't doing it myself.
Last night was a new moon - and this is the exercise I invite you to do over the next 28 days:
Close your eyes. Reflect on the way you have been feeling or acting or re-acting over the past few weeks. Is it working for you? Are you feeling amazing and excited for spring? Is there anything you want to change?
9 months pregnant - I have been very focused on getting what I want - from life, from my partner/husband - and getting upset, resentful, angry and sad - because the of this "Yang/Masculine" energy of "trying to get things done" - and I have had resistance - and it isn't working for me.
So this new moon - I acknowledge myself as the divine feminine - receptive, practicing the path of least resistance, and I make space for the universe to open up and reveal it all - as it is and should be.
So back to you: is there something or someone or some way of being you want to acknowledge yourself as - and take that on for the next 28 days?
I acknowledge you as _____________________________!
Namaste!
Last night was a new moon - and this is the exercise I invite you to do over the next 28 days:
Close your eyes. Reflect on the way you have been feeling or acting or re-acting over the past few weeks. Is it working for you? Are you feeling amazing and excited for spring? Is there anything you want to change?
9 months pregnant - I have been very focused on getting what I want - from life, from my partner/husband - and getting upset, resentful, angry and sad - because the of this "Yang/Masculine" energy of "trying to get things done" - and I have had resistance - and it isn't working for me.
So this new moon - I acknowledge myself as the divine feminine - receptive, practicing the path of least resistance, and I make space for the universe to open up and reveal it all - as it is and should be.
So back to you: is there something or someone or some way of being you want to acknowledge yourself as - and take that on for the next 28 days?
I acknowledge you as _____________________________!
Namaste!
Complaining, Whining - the root of unhappiness explored
Came across this in a fax of all things!
"At the root of complaining is thinking that the situation could be better. At the root of satisfaction is being aware that the situation could be worse. In almost all instances things could be worse and they could be better. To master happiness a person needs to have a constant awareness that things are better than they could be". - Rabbi Pliskin (Gateway to Happiness)
Okay - so kvetching, compaining, whining - has led to serious dis-satisfaction in my household of late - apartment is too small, neighbor's dogs/puppies do not stop crying (seriously turning my animal loving family into dog haters - not generalized - just these specific chihuahua mixed breed hell-hounds), lack of funds to pay bills, slow work, the list goes on...
The pursuit of zen, the bible/torah - all the wisdom states - FOCUS ON GRATITUDE! Make a mental Gratitude list - One of my clients asked if this really works - Yes! It does!
I always start with a Gratitude list - what I am thankful for - and I do not compare myself not to my immediate neighbors, friends, clients - then I will surely see all that is lacking in my life. Where is my house with white picket fence or rather - a modern, green LEED certified abode?
NO, I compare myself with the other 85-90% of humans living on this planet - the ones without shelter or leaky roofs/shanties, no heat/fresh air, fresh/clean water, lack of food/variety, clothing/shoes, the ones in areas of peril/war/violence - and my life seems GREAT! I am full of awareness of the plenty and possible excess that exists in my life.
So Rabbi - I thank you for your reminder and my mantra today is: "I have no complaints whatsoever" - Shabbat Shalom!
"At the root of complaining is thinking that the situation could be better. At the root of satisfaction is being aware that the situation could be worse. In almost all instances things could be worse and they could be better. To master happiness a person needs to have a constant awareness that things are better than they could be". - Rabbi Pliskin (Gateway to Happiness)
Okay - so kvetching, compaining, whining - has led to serious dis-satisfaction in my household of late - apartment is too small, neighbor's dogs/puppies do not stop crying (seriously turning my animal loving family into dog haters - not generalized - just these specific chihuahua mixed breed hell-hounds), lack of funds to pay bills, slow work, the list goes on...
The pursuit of zen, the bible/torah - all the wisdom states - FOCUS ON GRATITUDE! Make a mental Gratitude list - One of my clients asked if this really works - Yes! It does!
I always start with a Gratitude list - what I am thankful for - and I do not compare myself not to my immediate neighbors, friends, clients - then I will surely see all that is lacking in my life. Where is my house with white picket fence or rather - a modern, green LEED certified abode?
NO, I compare myself with the other 85-90% of humans living on this planet - the ones without shelter or leaky roofs/shanties, no heat/fresh air, fresh/clean water, lack of food/variety, clothing/shoes, the ones in areas of peril/war/violence - and my life seems GREAT! I am full of awareness of the plenty and possible excess that exists in my life.
So Rabbi - I thank you for your reminder and my mantra today is: "I have no complaints whatsoever" - Shabbat Shalom!
Get Healthy, Stay Healthy - Be Well With Yaelle!
I am close to 8 months pregnant and have started to spring clean the office. I have an overstock of herbal formulas - check out the link - I am offering the herbs at 30-40% off regular prices!
Spring Herbal Sale - for formulas for the following:
Men's Health (reproductive health - low sperm count, erectile disfunction (ED), impotence, tinnitus, etc)
Women's Health (post-partnum, qi tonics)
Immunity - herbal anti-virals, anti-biotics, common cold/flu, bronchitis, etc, kid's ear infections
Pain Management - neck'/shoulder, low back, bone spurs, etc
Supplementary Formulas: vision health, asthma, chemo/radiation, kidney health/nephritis, gastro-intesinal support, sports enhancement, etc.
Spring Herbal Sale - for formulas for the following:
Men's Health (reproductive health - low sperm count, erectile disfunction (ED), impotence, tinnitus, etc)
Women's Health (post-partnum, qi tonics)
Immunity - herbal anti-virals, anti-biotics, common cold/flu, bronchitis, etc, kid's ear infections
Pain Management - neck'/shoulder, low back, bone spurs, etc
Supplementary Formulas: vision health, asthma, chemo/radiation, kidney health/nephritis, gastro-intesinal support, sports enhancement, etc.
Who is this guy?
Now at 30 weeks pregnant - feeling large, waddling a bit, incontinent a tad - and curious...Who is this guy joining our family? We are a clan of alpha extroverts - even our cat "Sami" is social. He runs to the door to greet guests (dog-like), comes into the room verbalizing at 7:30am like an alarm when we oversleep (like a rooster). "Izzy" - the tortoise knocks on his terrarium to be let out - only to run circuits around the apartment (slow and steady - like a tortoise!), "Lollypop" the parrotfish reorganizes the aquarium - super industrious - picking up a piece or two of gravel at a time and moving it from one side of the aquarium to the other to form ditches and hills. The girls are both social, outgoing, self-confident in very different ways. The four and a half-year old - Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde (or as she puts it "Happy Ellah" and "Mad Ellah") - ignites like a firecracker when perceiving injustice or disorder of how she feels things ought to be! The Almost 10 - is the oldest/the performer/the socialite. Daddy and Mommy are strong, stubborn and alpha-types. Who will this little guy be? How will he fit into the clan? The first baby in my womb felt like a soccer player, the second felt like a shimmying bellydancer, this one feels like a free-style swimmer or a tai chi master or capoiera (sp?) dancer - with his flutter kicks, high fives, and slow wide leg movements. Just a bit longer....curious.....
Am I worthy of the life I want?
adjective 1. having merit or value 2. deserving
Easy answer: Duh! Of course I am. BUT (there is always a but) - what is holding me back? What prevents me from achieving my dreams and goals? Using techniques of affirmations, "The Secret" tool/Feeling the abundance, manifesting - are all wonderful tools - if there is an underlying feeling of not being deserving/worthy - none of it will come to fruition. So where does the underlying lack of worthiness come from?
I walk in gratitude knowing that I have some much (healthy, happy children, loving partner, relatively dry roof over my head (a slight leak from the celing after the storm was patched by the apartment management company!), clothing, food. The basics are taken care of. I work in a fulfilling career facilitating health for others. I am happy and fulfilled (most of the time). Do I receive my feelings of worth from parenting, helping patients/clients? Um...Yes. I have been indoctrinated into the belief that in order to be happy - do good for others. There is even a website www.dothedeed.org ! (Do the Deed is about attitude and action. Becoming more aware. Intentionally doing good for those around you. This site exists to celebrate and inspire a movement fueled by simple acts of kindness. The smallest deed can change a life. Together we can bring joy to the world. One deed at a time.) I have always taken this for the truth. We cannot live an egocentric existence and be happy. We are all a part of the macrocosm - we all have responsibility for our actions/deeds, our caring for our home (the earth planet), each other. This is my story and I am sticking to it!
BUT (and there is always a but) Why can I do this for others and Not myself? Or at least not with a good helping of guilt to go along with it. Does the guilt prevent me from treating myself as I treat others?
The 10 commandments teach the Golden Rule - Treat Others as you would like to be treated. Why can I not treat myself as I treat others? Hm...Is this a mother thing? Putting children and everyone else first? Is it a Jewish guilt thing? Is this why I cringe internally when I see egocentric/self-entitled behavior?
So then is this the time to delve internal - design a new paradigm, "I am worthy of the life I want!" Does this ring true? How many times must I say it to feel it? If it does not ring true - what underlying thought/belief must be unearthed and expunged?
Your Thoughts?
Easy answer: Duh! Of course I am. BUT (there is always a but) - what is holding me back? What prevents me from achieving my dreams and goals? Using techniques of affirmations, "The Secret" tool/Feeling the abundance, manifesting - are all wonderful tools - if there is an underlying feeling of not being deserving/worthy - none of it will come to fruition. So where does the underlying lack of worthiness come from?
I walk in gratitude knowing that I have some much (healthy, happy children, loving partner, relatively dry roof over my head (a slight leak from the celing after the storm was patched by the apartment management company!), clothing, food. The basics are taken care of. I work in a fulfilling career facilitating health for others. I am happy and fulfilled (most of the time). Do I receive my feelings of worth from parenting, helping patients/clients? Um...Yes. I have been indoctrinated into the belief that in order to be happy - do good for others. There is even a website www.dothedeed.org ! (Do the Deed is about attitude and action. Becoming more aware. Intentionally doing good for those around you. This site exists to celebrate and inspire a movement fueled by simple acts of kindness. The smallest deed can change a life. Together we can bring joy to the world. One deed at a time.) I have always taken this for the truth. We cannot live an egocentric existence and be happy. We are all a part of the macrocosm - we all have responsibility for our actions/deeds, our caring for our home (the earth planet), each other. This is my story and I am sticking to it!
BUT (and there is always a but) Why can I do this for others and Not myself? Or at least not with a good helping of guilt to go along with it. Does the guilt prevent me from treating myself as I treat others?
The 10 commandments teach the Golden Rule - Treat Others as you would like to be treated. Why can I not treat myself as I treat others? Hm...Is this a mother thing? Putting children and everyone else first? Is it a Jewish guilt thing? Is this why I cringe internally when I see egocentric/self-entitled behavior?
So then is this the time to delve internal - design a new paradigm, "I am worthy of the life I want!" Does this ring true? How many times must I say it to feel it? If it does not ring true - what underlying thought/belief must be unearthed and expunged?
Your Thoughts?
Worried about Radiation?
Okay - this radiation cloud may or may not hit us (West Coasters, that is) - supposedly if it is - it is happening today - thus far - the sacramento monitor registers minimal radiation particles. According to the news - people are buying Potassium Iodide to take to prevent Thyroid exposure. The Potassium Iodide binds with the receptors in the thyroid which blocks the harmful radiation (which can lead to increased incidences of thyroid cancer). The problem with this is - is your thyroid is fine - taking Iodine (which can be helpful for thyroid hypofunction) will mess up your thyroid!
What to do? What to do? Well TCM (traditional chinese medicine) practitioners and other holistic doctors will recommend a natural source of iodine such as Kelp (Kenshin has a good one) which has a similar effect of binding with thyroid receptors to block radiation - while reducing the potential side-effects of the iodine.
So if push comes to shove - and radiation arrives - the recommendation is 10 tablets of kelp, twice a day - no more, no less - according to the doctor at Kenshin.
For that matter- what about the radiation we get from Mammograms (alot!), Dental X-rays, Infra-scans, etc.?
Well, I for one take and give my family - a dose of kelp (kids half the amount) 2-3 hours prior to exposure (ex. annual dental x-rays) so that the receptors have been saturated and block the thyroid from longterm effects. As it is not a long-term treatment protocol - I am not afraid of potential side-effects of taking something like Iodine - that could throw off thyroid function (that is a whole other blog posting).
Think about it, do the research, and maybe this posting will alleviate a little bit of fear/anxiety some of you may have.
Of course what the radiation does to the rest of the body....
What to do? What to do? Well TCM (traditional chinese medicine) practitioners and other holistic doctors will recommend a natural source of iodine such as Kelp (Kenshin has a good one) which has a similar effect of binding with thyroid receptors to block radiation - while reducing the potential side-effects of the iodine.
So if push comes to shove - and radiation arrives - the recommendation is 10 tablets of kelp, twice a day - no more, no less - according to the doctor at Kenshin.
For that matter- what about the radiation we get from Mammograms (alot!), Dental X-rays, Infra-scans, etc.?
Well, I for one take and give my family - a dose of kelp (kids half the amount) 2-3 hours prior to exposure (ex. annual dental x-rays) so that the receptors have been saturated and block the thyroid from longterm effects. As it is not a long-term treatment protocol - I am not afraid of potential side-effects of taking something like Iodine - that could throw off thyroid function (that is a whole other blog posting).
Think about it, do the research, and maybe this posting will alleviate a little bit of fear/anxiety some of you may have.
Of course what the radiation does to the rest of the body....
When you get the call...
1:30am call - "Your mom isn't waking up." When you have a parent that is suffering from a long standing, chronic, degenerative disease (ALS and Parkinson's specifically) and you get the call. What do you do? Cry, Breathe, Pray. The ridiculous grudge you are holding on a friend who hurt your feelings seems pointless and you send her a text despite it being 2:15am. The dream you had 3 nights ago seems like a premonition (My mom's friend Carolyn who passed away earlier this year shows up at my door, looking 30-40 years old, slender, great blond bob, and walks in with some groceries and states,"I came to visit your mom." I look at my husband in the dream and whisper to him, "but she's dead!" and he looks at me at whispers back, "I know,") You put the kettle on - and look through the cupboard for the most nerve-soothing tea you have (Yogi Sleepytime with valerian, skullcap, passionflower, etc). And you journal/blog - because despite that fact that you should probably go back to bed (kids need to be cared for and taken to school in 4 hours, there is a PTO parent meeting at 8 am, work/clients await) you are on call (the doctor will make a house call, and your aunt will call you with updates in the morning) and you can't sleep.
The tea is honey sweet and soothing and may do the job. I had my aunt hold the phone to my mom's ear and I told her I loved her and to open her eyes if she heard. My aunt said she did. She is sleeping. My aunt thinks she should go into the hospital for observation despite the fact that my mom signed a living will that states that she does not want to be hooked up to machines. If she goes in, they will hook her up (IV for fluids/nutrition, meds) - that is not what she wanted. What can they do for her there, beyond prolong her life? Her neurologist stated she thinks my mom has another year. Another year of what? I think of our medicine today - we have the ability to prolong life - but should we?
I think of the animal kingdom - when an animal is old or dying - the instinct is to go away, lay down, stop eating/drinking and pass. My mom LOVES food. She didn't eat yesturday except for some soup. Today she took a few sips of water. She does not want to die in a hospital. Do you send her in? Is she finally ready to release her spirit from this "jail/prison" of a rigid/nonfunctioning body - to be set free? Her favorite dreams were always flying dreams. Is she ready to fly? Is she dreaming of flying right now?
The body she has does not work - the legs don't work, the lower body do not work, the voice doesn't work, the brain is not functioning 100%. Is it time? The last time I got a phone call kast May- she woke up in the afternoon (she had taken 2 sleeping pills at night and so the scare was false - not waking up in the morning was drug induced) My aunt says that she doesn't have any meds nearby. So I wait. And breathe. And pray - that G-d/The universe/"Carolyn/The Friend" indeed has come to visit my mom - and that she soon will be free.
I received this email today:
|
--- Concentrate on this Sentence |
How to make herbal infused oil
So excited!!! Conducting a Balm & Gong Workshop on Saturday from 10am-2pm in Pasadena! Making Balm is fun and easy. The time intensive part is if you want to make the balm really healing for the skin beyond the high quality butters (cocoa, shea, avocado, mango butter), and oils (evening primrose, jojoba, etc). Infusing oil is easy, but takes time. In a sterilized double boiler add the herbs you want to infuse (in this case I am using Calendula, St. John's Wort, Mullein, Plantain leaves) - Cover with oil (I am using extra virgin olive oil) - bring up to 120-140degree F and let "cook" for 4 hours. strain herbs either with cheese cloth or natural coffee filter. The infused oil is great for dry, irritated, itchy, skin. I will save most of the oil for Saturday's workshop but I will make a jar of salve for my family - adding a bit of bee's wax to the heated oil until melted, then taking off the heat and adding essential oils of lavender and roman chamomile. This salve is great for everything from kid's diaper rash/burning butt, to scrapes, rashes (eczema, allergic dermatitis), to vaginitis. Pretty much whereever there is need to soothe sore/painful/itchy skin.
Battle "The Stubborn Bug" - Flu & Cold Season 2011
Whereas last year seemed to be the Stomach virus/bug that never ended (everyone seemed to get bad 24 hour to 3 weeks worth of Stomach upsets throughout 2010), and the dreaded "swine flu" - this year - the nasty "Head Cold"/"Chest Cough"/"Achy/Chilly Flu" - has hit hard. People have been laid up for days/weeks and the first thing to remember - REST! SLEEP! REST! 2-3 DAYS IN BED WILL SAVE YOU 2-3 WEEKS OF MISSED WORK! HIT IT UPON ONSET - DON'T LET IT GET INTO YOUR CHEST - HIT IT WHEN FIRST SYMPTOMS BEGIN!!!!
Hit it with all it is worth and don't let up! Just watched "Flyboys" - great action movie set in 1917 WWI - keep firing on the enemy and don't give up!
YOUR ALLIES:
1. FRESH GARLIC:
is a potent antiviral/Antibiotic/Antifungal - use crushed/raw - it won't win you any friends but it is your ally.
Ex. JUICE (get yourself a juicer and give yourself infusions of potent vitamins/minerals - to ward off bugs:
Recipe: 4 carrots, 2-3 oranges, 2 cloves of garlic, 1/2 inch of fresh ginger - drink daily (it doesn't taste as bad as it sounds!)
Ex. SALAD DRESSING - crushed garlic in your home made salad dressing (I make this for supper on days when I am treating lots of sick people) - crushed garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, salt/pepper, and a bit of dijon.
2. ECHINACHEA/GOLDENSEAL TINCTURE (antiviral/antibacterial) - for sore throat/swollen tonsils - mix 1-2 dropperful with oz. of water and gargle 30 seconds then swallow. Repeat every 4-6 hours. If you have the fortitude - you can apply directly to tonsils Warning: this stuff tastes aweful!
3. STEAM WITH TEA TREE OIL/EUCALYPTUS (tea tree is antiviral/fungal/antibacterial and eucalyptus opens up nasal passages and bronchials) - add a few drops to shower and breathe deeply, or add to bowl of water and steam under a towel. I actually put a drop of tea tree on a 1-tip and used in my nostrils - pretty drastic but worked. Also nice: chest r ubs
4. LOAD UP ON VITAMIN C - emergen-C, lozenges, chewables, fresh orange juice, too much can cause stomach upset - but I haven't reached that point yet
5-7.ZINC, ELDERBERRY, ISATIS ROOT - look for them in wellness formulas
8. STAY AWAY FROM SUGAR, DAIRY, SOY, WHEAT - causes mucus and will make you more congested and works against you. Allies include - stews/soups/veggies/fruit - easy to digest foods
9. HOMEOPATHIC FORMULAS - this is not my forte but sinusin and cold calm are used in my family as adjunct care.We love: OCCILLICOCCINIUM - 1 vial every 6 hours - when you start with chills/achyness.
OTHER IMPORTANT BATTLE STRATEGIES:
1. DISINFECT YOUR TOOTHBRUSHES OR BUY NEW ONES - You will continue to re-infect yourself and wonder why you can't kick the bug or why you keep catching "new" ones.
2. WASH HANDS OFTEN
3. SNEEZE/COUGH IN THE FOLD OF YOUR ELBOW (Teach your kids to do this too!)
4. CHIRO - A Cervial Chirpractic adjustment often helps if done at the beginning when you are just starting to feel run down - sneezing/runny nose/congestion/fatigue.
5. ACUPUNCTURE & HERBS- Acupuncture/BRT treatment is helpful as well.
6. CHINESE HERBAL FORMULAS THAT HAVE HELPED THIS SEASON - Evergreen Herbs: Respitrol Cold/Respitrol Heat, Pinellia XPT, Respitrol CF, Lonicera Complex, Herbal ABX, Magnolia Clear Sinus, Pueraria Clear Sinus (need to see licensed practioner for perscription)
***NOT RECOMMENDED: TO TAKE TONICS - you will "strengthen" the enemy. Save tonics for after active infection to boost system.
CAVEAT/NOTE: ALL THESE BATTLE STRATEGIES HAVE BEEN USED IN MY HOUSEHOLD BY MYSELF, MY HUSBAND, AND KIDS, AND HAVE BEEN PASSED ON WITH SUCCESS TO MY CLIENTS/PATIENTS. I OFFER THIS BLOG TO EMPOWER YOU, TO EDUCATE YOU ON ALTERNATIVES BEYOND CONVENTIONAL OVER-THE-COUNTER PANACEAS "COUGH SUPPRESSANTS"/"FEVER SUPPRESANTS", ETC. I BELIEVE IN TREATING THE CAUSE AND SYMPTOMS - NOT MASKING SYMPTOMS. MAKE SURE TO CHECK WITH YOUR PERSONAL HEALTH PRACTIONER/DOCTOR TO SEE WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU.
TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH,
acumom
Hit it with all it is worth and don't let up! Just watched "Flyboys" - great action movie set in 1917 WWI - keep firing on the enemy and don't give up!
YOUR ALLIES:
1. FRESH GARLIC:
is a potent antiviral/Antibiotic/Antifungal - use crushed/raw - it won't win you any friends but it is your ally.
Ex. JUICE (get yourself a juicer and give yourself infusions of potent vitamins/minerals - to ward off bugs:
Recipe: 4 carrots, 2-3 oranges, 2 cloves of garlic, 1/2 inch of fresh ginger - drink daily (it doesn't taste as bad as it sounds!)
Ex. SALAD DRESSING - crushed garlic in your home made salad dressing (I make this for supper on days when I am treating lots of sick people) - crushed garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, salt/pepper, and a bit of dijon.
2. ECHINACHEA/GOLDENSEAL TINCTURE (antiviral/antibacterial) - for sore throat/swollen tonsils - mix 1-2 dropperful with oz. of water and gargle 30 seconds then swallow. Repeat every 4-6 hours. If you have the fortitude - you can apply directly to tonsils Warning: this stuff tastes aweful!
3. STEAM WITH TEA TREE OIL/EUCALYPTUS (tea tree is antiviral/fungal/antibacterial and eucalyptus opens up nasal passages and bronchials) - add a few drops to shower and breathe deeply, or add to bowl of water and steam under a towel. I actually put a drop of tea tree on a 1-tip and used in my nostrils - pretty drastic but worked. Also nice: chest r ubs
4. LOAD UP ON VITAMIN C - emergen-C, lozenges, chewables, fresh orange juice, too much can cause stomach upset - but I haven't reached that point yet
5-7.ZINC, ELDERBERRY, ISATIS ROOT - look for them in wellness formulas
8. STAY AWAY FROM SUGAR, DAIRY, SOY, WHEAT - causes mucus and will make you more congested and works against you. Allies include - stews/soups/veggies/fruit - easy to digest foods
9. HOMEOPATHIC FORMULAS - this is not my forte but sinusin and cold calm are used in my family as adjunct care.We love: OCCILLICOCCINIUM - 1 vial every 6 hours - when you start with chills/achyness.
OTHER IMPORTANT BATTLE STRATEGIES:
1. DISINFECT YOUR TOOTHBRUSHES OR BUY NEW ONES - You will continue to re-infect yourself and wonder why you can't kick the bug or why you keep catching "new" ones.
2. WASH HANDS OFTEN
3. SNEEZE/COUGH IN THE FOLD OF YOUR ELBOW (Teach your kids to do this too!)
4. CHIRO - A Cervial Chirpractic adjustment often helps if done at the beginning when you are just starting to feel run down - sneezing/runny nose/congestion/fatigue.
5. ACUPUNCTURE & HERBS- Acupuncture/BRT treatment is helpful as well.
6. CHINESE HERBAL FORMULAS THAT HAVE HELPED THIS SEASON - Evergreen Herbs: Respitrol Cold/Respitrol Heat, Pinellia XPT, Respitrol CF, Lonicera Complex, Herbal ABX, Magnolia Clear Sinus, Pueraria Clear Sinus (need to see licensed practioner for perscription)
***NOT RECOMMENDED: TO TAKE TONICS - you will "strengthen" the enemy. Save tonics for after active infection to boost system.
CAVEAT/NOTE: ALL THESE BATTLE STRATEGIES HAVE BEEN USED IN MY HOUSEHOLD BY MYSELF, MY HUSBAND, AND KIDS, AND HAVE BEEN PASSED ON WITH SUCCESS TO MY CLIENTS/PATIENTS. I OFFER THIS BLOG TO EMPOWER YOU, TO EDUCATE YOU ON ALTERNATIVES BEYOND CONVENTIONAL OVER-THE-COUNTER PANACEAS "COUGH SUPPRESSANTS"/"FEVER SUPPRESANTS", ETC. I BELIEVE IN TREATING THE CAUSE AND SYMPTOMS - NOT MASKING SYMPTOMS. MAKE SURE TO CHECK WITH YOUR PERSONAL HEALTH PRACTIONER/DOCTOR TO SEE WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU.
TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH,
acumom
Besides Kvetching - What Can I Do?
So, am I the only one feeling like I am twirling in a circle and the world around me seems crazy? I see: lack of oourtesy, the demise of manners. The Golden Rule (Treat Others As You Would Want To Be Treated) seems to be on the verge of extinction - or at least an obsolete reminant of a time (wax nostalgic) where people knew their neighbors and were friendly and there were actually neighborhood businesses rather than violent/sexy billboards, corporations, franchises. Morality and good-will toward humankind existed and was deemed above more important than "the bottom line,"
Yes - this is kvetching (yiddush for complaining) - but what can I do?
I just watched "Corporation" a documentary (2005) and I must say - human beings seem to do a lousy job at regulating themselves - so much for my economics degree - deregulation/free market/supply and demand - the corporations have shifted the power structure in such a way that it is a sisyphian task for The People to shift the balance of powers. Not that it cannot be done - but whew!
Is it too much to ask - that every human being be given access to water, sanitation, sufficient food and safety?
Why is this not the bottom line?
Just rented "Plunder" from the library - I may have more kvetching to do after watching that documentary on the current financial crisis.
Despite my dismay of the current Alfalfa crisis and the current administration's TERRIBLE handling of this specific business - at least he didn't ax the schools today - I hope the current congress will remember that the children are the future and as the current generation strips our future of hope for a viable, healthy environment - may they at least remember to educate them!
Sorry if this rant is too much - had to be done. Remember, I am pregnant and the hormones are coursing - I have a zero bull-s..t tolerance - mode that occurs when preggo hormones kick in.
Actually....let's end on a high note....Breathe....Breathe...Oh yah -
I am open to the possibility - that everyone's eyes open and see beyond the short term gain of a few and unite to heal the planet : our earth's ailments, our humanity's ailments and cooperate - realizing that when you die, you can't take your plundered gains with you, and that each and every one of us is a part of the larger family of humans and that we have a long term interest for humanity's "family" - Amen!
Yes - this is kvetching (yiddush for complaining) - but what can I do?
I just watched "Corporation" a documentary (2005) and I must say - human beings seem to do a lousy job at regulating themselves - so much for my economics degree - deregulation/free market/supply and demand - the corporations have shifted the power structure in such a way that it is a sisyphian task for The People to shift the balance of powers. Not that it cannot be done - but whew!
Is it too much to ask - that every human being be given access to water, sanitation, sufficient food and safety?
Why is this not the bottom line?
Just rented "Plunder" from the library - I may have more kvetching to do after watching that documentary on the current financial crisis.
Despite my dismay of the current Alfalfa crisis and the current administration's TERRIBLE handling of this specific business - at least he didn't ax the schools today - I hope the current congress will remember that the children are the future and as the current generation strips our future of hope for a viable, healthy environment - may they at least remember to educate them!
Sorry if this rant is too much - had to be done. Remember, I am pregnant and the hormones are coursing - I have a zero bull-s..t tolerance - mode that occurs when preggo hormones kick in.
Actually....let's end on a high note....Breathe....Breathe...Oh yah -
I am open to the possibility - that everyone's eyes open and see beyond the short term gain of a few and unite to heal the planet : our earth's ailments, our humanity's ailments and cooperate - realizing that when you die, you can't take your plundered gains with you, and that each and every one of us is a part of the larger family of humans and that we have a long term interest for humanity's "family" - Amen!
Nope, I ain't Dolly Parton - My Breasts are Engorged!!! Breastfeeding/Lacation Part 3
Painful Breasts - Oy Vey! Can be caused by blocked milk tubes/duct and will lead to swelling and acute pain. Mastitis is an infection and usually has symptoms of fever, redness, and acute tenderness. The infected breast becomes hard, lumpy and swollen. An oversupply of milk will also cause engorgement.
What is a poultice? Take a handful of herbs in a clean cotton diaper and tie with a rubber band, steep in simmering water for 10-15 minutes then apply the compress the breast with the hot, wet bundle.
Poultice/compresses and soaks are best general first aid. Hot Water is your friend! It stimulates circulation and eases the tension. Herbs are the superheroes - they increase the effectiveness (try hot compress of fresh or dried Parsley, OR of fresh or dried Comfrey Leaves). You want to apply frequently (4-5 times daily) and short periods 3-5 minutes. Be persistant and consistent for best results!
If there is infection - throw away the poulticing materials. If there isn't infections, you can reuse the brews and towels.
Soak Breasts in slippery and slimy Marshmallow root (draws out infections, soothes tissues, opens clogged ducts, helps inflamed breasts and sore nipples). Make an infusion of dried root bys teeping 2 oz in 1/2 gallon boiling water and leave overnight. Reheat infusion to near boiling then pour into sink/basin and soak until infusion cools.
A cold poulitce of grated raw potato draws out heat from inflammation/infection and unblocks tubes - grate raw potato and apply directly to breast covering with a clean cltoh. Remove or replace when dry.
If you've got blocked tubes/duct you want to continue nursing on breast. Go carefully and continue to nurse/pump every hour just enough to empty breast.
Before nursing, use any of the above warm comresses for 5-10 min.
GET PLENTY OF REST! BLOCKAGE WILL CLEAR - usually in a few hours or overnight.
Mastitis is often a sign of too little rest - take naps, relax, don't worry the breast infection won't make your infant sick - nuse as often and as long as possible on infected breast.
Other herbs to consider during Mastitis - echinacea (1/2 drop per pound of body weight as single dose up to 6 times a day until fever subsides. Then continue 2-3 times a day for 7 days until symptoms clear.* consult health practioner*
What is a poultice? Take a handful of herbs in a clean cotton diaper and tie with a rubber band, steep in simmering water for 10-15 minutes then apply the compress the breast with the hot, wet bundle.
Poultice/compresses and soaks are best general first aid. Hot Water is your friend! It stimulates circulation and eases the tension. Herbs are the superheroes - they increase the effectiveness (try hot compress of fresh or dried Parsley, OR of fresh or dried Comfrey Leaves). You want to apply frequently (4-5 times daily) and short periods 3-5 minutes. Be persistant and consistent for best results!
If there is infection - throw away the poulticing materials. If there isn't infections, you can reuse the brews and towels.
Soak Breasts in slippery and slimy Marshmallow root (draws out infections, soothes tissues, opens clogged ducts, helps inflamed breasts and sore nipples). Make an infusion of dried root bys teeping 2 oz in 1/2 gallon boiling water and leave overnight. Reheat infusion to near boiling then pour into sink/basin and soak until infusion cools.
A cold poulitce of grated raw potato draws out heat from inflammation/infection and unblocks tubes - grate raw potato and apply directly to breast covering with a clean cltoh. Remove or replace when dry.
If you've got blocked tubes/duct you want to continue nursing on breast. Go carefully and continue to nurse/pump every hour just enough to empty breast.
Before nursing, use any of the above warm comresses for 5-10 min.
GET PLENTY OF REST! BLOCKAGE WILL CLEAR - usually in a few hours or overnight.
Mastitis is often a sign of too little rest - take naps, relax, don't worry the breast infection won't make your infant sick - nuse as often and as long as possible on infected breast.
Other herbs to consider during Mastitis - echinacea (1/2 drop per pound of body weight as single dose up to 6 times a day until fever subsides. Then continue 2-3 times a day for 7 days until symptoms clear.* consult health practioner*
My Nipples Make Me Wanna Cry - Lactation/Breastfeeding Part 2
Sore nipples can heal rapidly in a day or two but you are using them alot so it is easier to prevent them than to treat them. During last months of pregancy - incorporate in intimacy - get those babies used to being used! Post-partnum - if they are constantly sore or suddenly sore - may suspect thrush (other symptoms are pink, flaky skin and itchy nipples (Thrush is due to candida albicans and is the primary suspet if baby seems hungry but fusses instead of nursing - look inside mouth of baby. Are insides redder than normal? are there patches of white? - Check out Susan S. Weed's book mentioned in previous post for remedies to get rid of those pesky yeast).
For preventing sore nipples; expose breast to air, don't wear a bra all day/night. Wear nursing bra with flaps down as much as possible. Expose breast to sunlight or brief periods of ultraviolet light (max. 3 min.), rub olive oil, sweet almond oil, lanolin, comfrey root ointment into nipples throughout latter part of pregnancy and beginning weeks of nursing. Make sure baby is placed correctly and nipple is centered. Experiment with different nursing positions. Avoid washing nipples with soap which removes natural oils.
Remedies: crshed ice in wet cloth before nursing. Use comfrey root ointment (softens and strengthens nipples). Rinse off before nursing so baby can grasp properly. I have made comfrey and calendula ointments (take some dried herbs and good olive oil - heat on low 4 hours. I add a little bee's wax then pour into jars - great for cuts, scrapes, nipples, skin rashes, eczema, etc). Also good are yarrow leaf in poutices aor oinments to totaly reliev apin and heal rapidly. Vitamin E after nursing. Any poutlices for painful breast are good esp. comfrey and marshmallow. Clear gel from an aloe vera leaf (wash off, can taste bitter for baby). Avoid antibiotic ointment, steroids, and anesthetic drugs which are potentially harmful to you and baby.
For preventing sore nipples; expose breast to air, don't wear a bra all day/night. Wear nursing bra with flaps down as much as possible. Expose breast to sunlight or brief periods of ultraviolet light (max. 3 min.), rub olive oil, sweet almond oil, lanolin, comfrey root ointment into nipples throughout latter part of pregnancy and beginning weeks of nursing. Make sure baby is placed correctly and nipple is centered. Experiment with different nursing positions. Avoid washing nipples with soap which removes natural oils.
Remedies: crshed ice in wet cloth before nursing. Use comfrey root ointment (softens and strengthens nipples). Rinse off before nursing so baby can grasp properly. I have made comfrey and calendula ointments (take some dried herbs and good olive oil - heat on low 4 hours. I add a little bee's wax then pour into jars - great for cuts, scrapes, nipples, skin rashes, eczema, etc). Also good are yarrow leaf in poutices aor oinments to totaly reliev apin and heal rapidly. Vitamin E after nursing. Any poutlices for painful breast are good esp. comfrey and marshmallow. Clear gel from an aloe vera leaf (wash off, can taste bitter for baby). Avoid antibiotic ointment, steroids, and anesthetic drugs which are potentially harmful to you and baby.
I want Milk! Lacation/Breastfeeding Part 1
This past week, I was presented with two different lactating issues and I thought - let's post the info - there are more of you out there!
I want milk! Need to get the milk flowing after the birth of your baby? Having trouble with breast feeding?
Traditional Medicinals offers two great teas: Organic Pregnancy Tea to support healthy pregnancy (raspberry leaf, strawberry leaf, nettle leaf, with some other good ones for digestions and taste), and Organic Mother's Milk to promote Healthy Lactation (bitter fennel fruit, aniseed, fenugreek, blessed thistle herb, coriander fruit, marshmellow, and some mint and lemongrass/verbena). These are great to drink 3-5 times daily (steep 5 minutes or more).
Other favorites of midwives, mamas and Wise Women are simple tea infusions of nourishing herbs such as comfrey, raspberry leaf, netles, alfalfa, or red clover to encourage a plentiful supply of breast milk and relaxed, healthy mama. These are mineral rich and prtoect mama from mineral loss during stress of nursing and caring for infant. You can rotate, using each one for a week, to derive the unique benefits of each.
Good foods: apricots, asparagus, green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, pecans, and all leafy greens such as beet, parsley, watercress, and dandelion leaves are considered helpful in increasing and sustaining lactation.
1) Blessed Thistle is famed for its ability to increase milk supply (in the Mother's Milk tea mentioned above). You can also take as a tincture up to 20 drops, 2-4 times daily. It is said to remove suicidal feelings and lift depression as well. You see it in almost every West Coast garden.
2) 1/2 a cup of Borage leave infusion at each nursing insures abundant milk and acts as a mild laxative and soothes nerves.
3) Fennel/Barley Water - prepare by soakng 1/2 cup pearled (regular) barley in 3 cups cold water overnight or boiling for 25 minutes. Strain out barley and heat a cup or two of the barley water to boiling, store rest in frige. Pour 1 coup boiling barley water over 1 tsp fennel seeds and steep for no longer than 30 min. This combo increases breast milk, eases after-pains and settles digestion of mama and baby.
4) Hops flowers - old remedy formothers of twins who need lots more milk - suitable for nightime feedings as brings sleep along with increased milk flow. Beer is convenient (make sure you get the beer that is additive free, also can get alcohol free and chemical free versions).
5) Your TCM practitioner may prescribe Jia Wei Xiao Yao Wan (I took this after my first pregnancy, when my milk seemed to dry up when I was under alot of stress - the formula calmed my nerves and brought back my milk).
1-4 came from a great resource: Susan S. Weed's Wise Woman herbal for the Childbearing Year
Ready to Gong and Make Balm!
Now in my 23rd week with an expanding belly - I am almost out of the organic virgin coconut oil that I have been rubbing on my belly. Since I have yet to run across a balm as great as the ones I used to make circa 2001-2005 - I have decided to make up a new batch of the previously named: Golden Gong Belly Balm, aka Bust/Belly/Bum & Beyond Balm - and now it is simply called: THE BEST BALM! for bust/belly/bum & beyond! Easy name - right?
This Saturday, at Chez Moi - I will brew up a batch - and since I gong all products - I am making this into a social convergence aka a Fun, Relaxing, Informative 3 hour workshop/Adventure/Experience!
Have a cuppa tea and a slice o' cake - Learn to make a Customized All Natural Healing Balm (each participant will customize their jar ex. Valentine's Day/Passion/Intimacy, or for Pregnant Belly, or Baby Care, or Healing Skin Salve, etc.) Leave with a jar of the good stuff customized for your needs!
AND BLISS OUT! With a Gong Sound Bath Meditation Experience...!
(I gong all my handmade products to infuse the product with Reiki Healing Energy and Gong Sound Energy - so while the product is gonged - you are too!)
I am limiting Space to 8! - Call ASAP to save your spot! Yaelle 310 666 4983.
the cost?: $60 per person (tea/refreshments, 1 customized jar, Gong Bath Meditation, and workshop)
More product will be available for purchase (pre-order accepted if you cannot make the workshop) $30 for 5 oz. jar
(ingredients may include: shea butter, cocoa butter, avocado butter, mango butter, infused botanical herbal blend, essential oils, and natural vit.E preservative so if you are interested...
I will post results of this years vintage later....
This Saturday, at Chez Moi - I will brew up a batch - and since I gong all products - I am making this into a social convergence aka a Fun, Relaxing, Informative 3 hour workshop/Adventure/Experie
Have a cuppa tea and a slice o' cake - Learn to make a Customized All Natural Healing Balm (each participant will customize their jar ex. Valentine's Day/Passion/Intimacy, or for Pregnant Belly, or Baby Care, or Healing Skin Salve, etc.) Leave with a jar of the good stuff customized for your needs!
AND BLISS OUT! With a Gong Sound Bath Meditation Experience...!
(I gong all my handmade products to infuse the product with Reiki Healing Energy and Gong Sound Energy - so while the product is gonged - you are too!)
I am limiting Space to 8! - Call ASAP to save your spot! Yaelle 310 666 4983.
the cost?: $60 per person (tea/refreshments, 1 customized jar, Gong Bath Meditation, and workshop)
More product will be available for purchase (pre-order accepted if you cannot make the workshop) $30 for 5 oz. jar
(ingredients may include: shea butter, cocoa butter, avocado butter, mango butter, infused botanical herbal blend, essential oils, and natural vit.E preservative so if you are interested...
I will post results of this years vintage later....
Time to Stop the Rhetoric With Kids
According to wikipedia: A rhetorical question is a figure of speech in the form of a question posed for its persuasive effect without the expectation of a reply (e.g.: "Why me?")[1] Rhetorical questions encourage the listener to think about what the (often obvious) answer to the question must be. When a speaker states, "How much longer must our people endure this injustice?", no formal answer is expected. Rather, it is a device used by the speaker to assert or deny something.
I held a family meeting. The theme - Manners/Etiquette and Common Courtesy. I began the meeting with the kids offering suggestions of what the theme included. They came up with: 1. using Please, Thank You, and I am sorry (excellent - 9 and 4 years of indocrination have had the desired result!) 2. No biting/kicking/ scratching/hiting/etc (this was offered by the 4 year old who still resorts to the afore mentioned actions when she is frustrated) - this led us to the Grand Picture - In essence - what she was saying was - FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE - "Treat Others, How You Want To Be Treated."
At this point in the meeting Ellah (4) was done and wanted to return to her movie. Lishai (9) wanted to know why she had to stay. "If all Ellah gets out of this family meeting was The Golden Rule - then that is enough, you are 9 and can comprehend and absorb more - so sit back down," was my response.
I then went on to include - ***Listening without interupting***, ***Allowing others to go first***, and ***Respecting Elders (aka no talking back)***.
I asked her what the consequence would be if she broke the new family Etiquette rules and she stated: no tv/computer for a week. "Um, yah, No." I answered, "That doesn't work."
Rather - a Rewind/Redo (an opportunity to address the behavior/words/actions and change the response) and if you chose not to have a Redo/Rewind - then you can write 100 times "I will not disrespect" or "I will not interrupt" - or "I will follow the Golden Rule". Good ole' fashioned school punishment inspired by the evil Ms. Umbridge from book 5 of the Harry Potter series sans the blood offering.
Lishai immediately freaked out ran out of the room screamed - I hate you! and threw herself on the bed and sobbed hysterically. After 5 minutes I went and said, "It is interesting to me that we are not talking about the present, rather something in the future - you haven't done anything yet and yet you seem to know that you will break the rules and then refuse the Redo and you are freaking out about a consequence (nice word for punishment) that hasn't arisen yet!
She calmed down and in the ensuing week, I have become aware of the way, we as parents talk. And I have come to a conclusion - Rhetorical speech to children leads to Frustration and undo consequences.
I noticed that my husband Always speaks to the girls in Rhetoric - and they Do Not Get It!
They think they need to answer the question and then he thinks they are talking back:
"Why are your clothes on the floor?" "Why haven't you picked up your toys?" "Why did you pick up the hot plate? Didn't you know you would spill it?" "It is time to clean up, okay?"
The Best Advice Ever - PARENTS - STOP IT! BE AWARE OF HOW YOU PHRASE YOUR WORDS.
WORDS ARE POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE - when used correctly. Teach your kids at the appropriate time 8-9 possibly what a rhetorical question is - but refrain from its usage - I am telling you - I am dropping serious wisdom here - heed it!
Happy New Year!
I held a family meeting. The theme - Manners/Etiquette and Common Courtesy. I began the meeting with the kids offering suggestions of what the theme included. They came up with: 1. using Please, Thank You, and I am sorry (excellent - 9 and 4 years of indocrination have had the desired result!) 2. No biting/kicking/ scratching/hiting/etc (this was offered by the 4 year old who still resorts to the afore mentioned actions when she is frustrated) - this led us to the Grand Picture - In essence - what she was saying was - FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE - "Treat Others, How You Want To Be Treated."
At this point in the meeting Ellah (4) was done and wanted to return to her movie. Lishai (9) wanted to know why she had to stay. "If all Ellah gets out of this family meeting was The Golden Rule - then that is enough, you are 9 and can comprehend and absorb more - so sit back down," was my response.
I then went on to include - ***Listening without interupting***, ***Allowing others to go first***, and ***Respecting Elders (aka no talking back)***.
I asked her what the consequence would be if she broke the new family Etiquette rules and she stated: no tv/computer for a week. "Um, yah, No." I answered, "That doesn't work."
Rather - a Rewind/Redo (an opportunity to address the behavior/words/actions and change the response) and if you chose not to have a Redo/Rewind - then you can write 100 times "I will not disrespect" or "I will not interrupt" - or "I will follow the Golden Rule". Good ole' fashioned school punishment inspired by the evil Ms. Umbridge from book 5 of the Harry Potter series sans the blood offering.
Lishai immediately freaked out ran out of the room screamed - I hate you! and threw herself on the bed and sobbed hysterically. After 5 minutes I went and said, "It is interesting to me that we are not talking about the present, rather something in the future - you haven't done anything yet and yet you seem to know that you will break the rules and then refuse the Redo and you are freaking out about a consequence (nice word for punishment) that hasn't arisen yet!
She calmed down and in the ensuing week, I have become aware of the way, we as parents talk. And I have come to a conclusion - Rhetorical speech to children leads to Frustration and undo consequences.
I noticed that my husband Always speaks to the girls in Rhetoric - and they Do Not Get It!
They think they need to answer the question and then he thinks they are talking back:
"Why are your clothes on the floor?" "Why haven't you picked up your toys?" "Why did you pick up the hot plate? Didn't you know you would spill it?" "It is time to clean up, okay?"
The Best Advice Ever - PARENTS - STOP IT! BE AWARE OF HOW YOU PHRASE YOUR WORDS.
WORDS ARE POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE - when used correctly. Teach your kids at the appropriate time 8-9 possibly what a rhetorical question is - but refrain from its usage - I am telling you - I am dropping serious wisdom here - heed it!
Happy New Year!
Acts of War
I am pretty sure there is something in the Geneva Convention regarding cutting off one's sibling's favorite doll's hair which constitutes a deliberate act of war.
Back in the Good Ole U.S. of A and in the midst of a marathon Latke (potato pancake) making session - Ellah comes in holding her lip and crying. Meanwhile I hear piercing, blood-curdling screaming from the girl's room. Lishai is sitting up in bed - crimson faced, shaking, shrieking - OMG! I think - broken limb, at the very least - a severed appendage - but no.
The hysterionics are due to the fact that her evil, vindictive 4 year old sister has chopped off the hair of her precious, hard-earned favorite Barbie (the one she chose after finishing an 800 page Harry Potter book). Meanwhile the same 4 year old is holding her lip after having a book thrown at her (not condoning the behavior - but it was a paperback Geronimo Stilton).
Who are these horrible, naughty children? Where have my loving daughters gone? Picking up my heart which dropped to the floor due to prior thoughts of ER visitation - I whisper to the 9 year old that this is a $10 fix (doll is on sale FYI).
The girls have been crashing by 7:30pm and waking at 3am and attending school. This incident occurred at 7:15pm. They were asleep in 15 minutes after consequences of removal of all scissors from the guilty party's reach and assurances that this was an easy fix.
Ellah (4 yrs old) is in her - "I will break all the rules knowingly and with impunity" phase which goes along with the "I will do what I like, when I like, so there!" phase. All consequences be damned - explaining the ramifications of her actions (hurt feelings, danger), timeouts, toy removal, spanking - nothing seems to break her resolve. If she wants to light a match to light a candle - she will do it. Was it explained to her that she can only light the candles with mommy or daddy? of course! So now scissors and matches have been put out of reach. She now after having been out of school for 3 weeks "hates school" - is it because school has RULES she must follow? The teachers assure me that she is wonderful at school - so lucky me - I get the rebel at home.
Advice?
Back in the Good Ole U.S. of A and in the midst of a marathon Latke (potato pancake) making session - Ellah comes in holding her lip and crying. Meanwhile I hear piercing, blood-curdling screaming from the girl's room. Lishai is sitting up in bed - crimson faced, shaking, shrieking - OMG! I think - broken limb, at the very least - a severed appendage - but no.
The hysterionics are due to the fact that her evil, vindictive 4 year old sister has chopped off the hair of her precious, hard-earned favorite Barbie (the one she chose after finishing an 800 page Harry Potter book). Meanwhile the same 4 year old is holding her lip after having a book thrown at her (not condoning the behavior - but it was a paperback Geronimo Stilton).
Who are these horrible, naughty children? Where have my loving daughters gone? Picking up my heart which dropped to the floor due to prior thoughts of ER visitation - I whisper to the 9 year old that this is a $10 fix (doll is on sale FYI).
The girls have been crashing by 7:30pm and waking at 3am and attending school. This incident occurred at 7:15pm. They were asleep in 15 minutes after consequences of removal of all scissors from the guilty party's reach and assurances that this was an easy fix.
Ellah (4 yrs old) is in her - "I will break all the rules knowingly and with impunity" phase which goes along with the "I will do what I like, when I like, so there!" phase. All consequences be damned - explaining the ramifications of her actions (hurt feelings, danger), timeouts, toy removal, spanking - nothing seems to break her resolve. If she wants to light a match to light a candle - she will do it. Was it explained to her that she can only light the candles with mommy or daddy? of course! So now scissors and matches have been put out of reach. She now after having been out of school for 3 weeks "hates school" - is it because school has RULES she must follow? The teachers assure me that she is wonderful at school - so lucky me - I get the rebel at home.
Advice?
I know I've gotta find...some kind of Peace of Mind...
Okay - according to the song - What becomes of a broken heart? (BTW who sang that?) - there isn't really an answer - it is more of the process of finding...some kind of perspective so - I've got to find some kind of Peace of Mind, baby. But how? How to get there?
Thank you to all who sent words of support. It feels very far away and yet there is comfort knowing that people somewhere out there are rooting for me to get through this. I know somewhere in my psyche there is a Tool Box to deal with this (I help my clients/patients daily at home with their challenges/struggles) - it is always harder to turn the mirror on one's self to psychoanalyze - so I've gotta find a way....
The Way is blocked by Ghouls & Monsters who are really stinky and gross (they have inocuous names like "Hopelessness", "Anger", "Resentment", "Fear" but don't let that fool you - they are SCARY and DANGEROUS). I know there must be some Good Witches & Angels that if I was sensible and in my power I could call on (They are quite lovely and powerful and have superpowers to heal and comfort and they have names like "Joy", "Hope", "Peace") but all I really want to do is go home - to my comfortable bed (sofa bed is KILLING MY BACK), my one quiet cat (This little apartment holds 2 yappy dogs and a cat and the smell is overwhelming), and the comfort of schedule (kids at school 7 hours a day, work, routine, it sounds so sweet!), my partner/husband - to support the challenges of raising kids, feeding/clothing/mediating/disciplining/comforting). so here I go - tapping my red sparkly shoes together - "There's no place like home, there's no place like home..." But unfortunately 6 days and then a 21 journey home remain before that wish is granted.
So back to the way....The yellow brick road to PEACE....I suppose the missing piece in this puzzle which I have not shared is that I am 13 weeks pregnant - so the hormones and this unforgiving superhuman sense of smell and sensitivity that causes bile and acid to rise to to verge of emesis from trails of cigarette smoke, car exhaust, gas, pollutions, chemicals, thai food smells (don't understand it), urine, etc. In anycase, my sensitivity may in part be due to hormones, to 9 days of sleep deprivation (yes, I am finally over the jet lag - took 10 days) - so right now - I make a stand - HELP!!!!!! Hope, Peace, Joy, Patience come to me!!!!!
will keep you updated.....
Thank you to all who sent words of support. It feels very far away and yet there is comfort knowing that people somewhere out there are rooting for me to get through this. I know somewhere in my psyche there is a Tool Box to deal with this (I help my clients/patients daily at home with their challenges/struggles) - it is always harder to turn the mirror on one's self to psychoanalyze - so I've gotta find a way....
The Way is blocked by Ghouls & Monsters who are really stinky and gross (they have inocuous names like "Hopelessness", "Anger", "Resentment", "Fear" but don't let that fool you - they are SCARY and DANGEROUS). I know there must be some Good Witches & Angels that if I was sensible and in my power I could call on (They are quite lovely and powerful and have superpowers to heal and comfort and they have names like "Joy", "Hope", "Peace") but all I really want to do is go home - to my comfortable bed (sofa bed is KILLING MY BACK), my one quiet cat (This little apartment holds 2 yappy dogs and a cat and the smell is overwhelming), and the comfort of schedule (kids at school 7 hours a day, work, routine, it sounds so sweet!), my partner/husband - to support the challenges of raising kids, feeding/clothing/mediating/disciplining/comforting). so here I go - tapping my red sparkly shoes together - "There's no place like home, there's no place like home..." But unfortunately 6 days and then a 21 journey home remain before that wish is granted.
So back to the way....The yellow brick road to PEACE....I suppose the missing piece in this puzzle which I have not shared is that I am 13 weeks pregnant - so the hormones and this unforgiving superhuman sense of smell and sensitivity that causes bile and acid to rise to to verge of emesis from trails of cigarette smoke, car exhaust, gas, pollutions, chemicals, thai food smells (don't understand it), urine, etc. In anycase, my sensitivity may in part be due to hormones, to 9 days of sleep deprivation (yes, I am finally over the jet lag - took 10 days) - so right now - I make a stand - HELP!!!!!! Hope, Peace, Joy, Patience come to me!!!!!
will keep you updated.....
My heart is breaking into a thousand piecess...
My heart is breaking into a thousand pieces and yet mostly, I just register fatigue, irritability, and impatience. The irritability and impatience is absorbed, magnified and then thrown into my face in the form of an irrescible four year old! I have brought both girls with me on the 21 hour journey from Los Angeles to Israel to visit my mother who was diagnosed with ALS in May 2010 (ontop of the Parkinson's Disease Diagnosis from 2002!). My mother has no wind in her vocals and any sound coming out is 98% unrecognizable so she has resorted to writing notes - comments/instructions on pieces of paper as the most efficient form of communication. The ALS has rendered the lower part of her body - immobile/unresponsive and yet what kills me like a sharp stabbing knife - over and over again in the chest is watching her attempt to eat - her arms and hands are still mobile so she can slowly lift the utensil to her mouth - however what is cute on a 1 year old is heart-wrenching on an elderly (not so elderly 64!) parent - the food drops and stains and thoroughly wets her shirt. The mouth has lost control and the saliva escapes in drool - so the hand perpetually is holding a tissue to attempt to assuage the fluids. I have to turn away - It is too much to see the woman who bore me, raised me, comforted me, cared for me, my "Supermom" - is in diapers and drooling.
Her mind is there (most of the time) and she writes words of encouragement and continues to advance the cause of the optimist - "Positivity is my trademark" - she holds on to the possibility of joining a research study with stem cells which will get her walking in 6 months because she is motivated. And so - who am I then - the pessimist? The realist? I kick myself for not being able to immerse myself in the fantasy - it surely is a better mindset than the one I am in.
The silver lining - and there always is one - is that I trust that everything is happening for a reason. That the lessons from this hardship can only make me stronger and better as a person. Right? Seeing my heartbreak reflected in my 9 year old's eyes - it isn't voiced - I just see how she looks at the lady that was her Grandma/Savta - giving her piggyback rides, taking her to the park, reading to her and putting her to bed everynight for the first 5 years of her life...She understands how I feel. So I turn to my 4 year old for the silver lining - the light in this dark tunnel - to show me the way.
Ellah thinks the note writing is great! Though she cannot write or read yet save her name - she writes Savta notes. Though Savta has no wind to voice her thoughts - she has a microphone (a Britney Spears popstar headpiece that is supposed to help with her vocalizations) - and Ellah commandeers it to perform concerts - laying on Savta's hospital bed and enjoying Savta's undivided attention - she sings with the microphone and props a pillow against the bed rails - hides behind it and performs a puppetshow with her hand puppets. She is the lesson - of being in the Present - of Acceptance - of Being in the Now - and Enjoying Life. She holds no memory of the Healthy Savta - save for the verbal mythology of the older sister. But she is here, now, in acceptance.
Yesturday - My mom checked out - maybe for 36 minutes - but she did not smile, stared vacantly at Ellah, at me - like we were strangers, with mouth ajar in an "O" she looked around from her armchair - not responding to conversation, not responding to questions. It was scary. Within an hour - she was back - with no recollection of the "blackout" - but rather than be amazed at the mystery of the human body and brain - it put me in a tail spin.
So as the song goes - "What becomes of the broken hearted?" - I am open to suggestions...
Her mind is there (most of the time) and she writes words of encouragement and continues to advance the cause of the optimist - "Positivity is my trademark" - she holds on to the possibility of joining a research study with stem cells which will get her walking in 6 months because she is motivated. And so - who am I then - the pessimist? The realist? I kick myself for not being able to immerse myself in the fantasy - it surely is a better mindset than the one I am in.
The silver lining - and there always is one - is that I trust that everything is happening for a reason. That the lessons from this hardship can only make me stronger and better as a person. Right? Seeing my heartbreak reflected in my 9 year old's eyes - it isn't voiced - I just see how she looks at the lady that was her Grandma/Savta - giving her piggyback rides, taking her to the park, reading to her and putting her to bed everynight for the first 5 years of her life...She understands how I feel. So I turn to my 4 year old for the silver lining - the light in this dark tunnel - to show me the way.
Ellah thinks the note writing is great! Though she cannot write or read yet save her name - she writes Savta notes. Though Savta has no wind to voice her thoughts - she has a microphone (a Britney Spears popstar headpiece that is supposed to help with her vocalizations) - and Ellah commandeers it to perform concerts - laying on Savta's hospital bed and enjoying Savta's undivided attention - she sings with the microphone and props a pillow against the bed rails - hides behind it and performs a puppetshow with her hand puppets. She is the lesson - of being in the Present - of Acceptance - of Being in the Now - and Enjoying Life. She holds no memory of the Healthy Savta - save for the verbal mythology of the older sister. But she is here, now, in acceptance.
Yesturday - My mom checked out - maybe for 36 minutes - but she did not smile, stared vacantly at Ellah, at me - like we were strangers, with mouth ajar in an "O" she looked around from her armchair - not responding to conversation, not responding to questions. It was scary. Within an hour - she was back - with no recollection of the "blackout" - but rather than be amazed at the mystery of the human body and brain - it put me in a tail spin.
So as the song goes - "What becomes of the broken hearted?" - I am open to suggestions...
The Omnivore's Dilemma
Having just finished Michael Pollan's book: The Omnivore's Dilemma - I must say - buy or rent/borrow this book today! It is at your library or on the "Thought Provoking" table at Barnes and Noble!
Humans are omnivores - that is we are animals that will feed on any or many different kinds of food, including both plants and animals. Pollan follows each of the food chains that sustain us - industrial food, organic or alternative food and the food we forage ourselves (not that many of us do - but for the fisherman, hunters, gatherers out there...we still carry that in our DNA!) - to a final meal. His thoughtful narrative addresses the Iowa cornfields (6 billion taxpayer dollars subsidize the corn growing industry. We have too much corn - industry is trying to find new ways to use it all up - by using ethanol in the gas we use to drive our machines (even if it is not environmentally sound), as preservatives, and random products that you unknowingly consume or apply to your body (out of tthe 45,000 items in the average supermarket - 25% of them now contain corn. this includes toothpaste, cosmetics, disposable diapers, trash bags, cleansers, charcoal briquettes, matches, batteries) When you read about the amount of fossil fuels/petroleum it takes to fertilize and then grow/harvest/transport the corn - it is mindblowing.
Also - he takes you through food-science laboratories, feedlots or CAFOs (the ghetto/holocaust confinement centers for cattle), fast food restaurants, organic farms and huntinggrounds.
The answers Pollan offers have profound impact on our environment, our health, or politics and it behooves everyone to educate themselves - you will have new appreciation for your food and a heightened awareness of your power as a consumer to make an impact on our environment and our food industry system with your choices.
MUST READ!!!!!!
Humans are omnivores - that is we are animals that will feed on any or many different kinds of food, including both plants and animals. Pollan follows each of the food chains that sustain us - industrial food, organic or alternative food and the food we forage ourselves (not that many of us do - but for the fisherman, hunters, gatherers out there...we still carry that in our DNA!) - to a final meal. His thoughtful narrative addresses the Iowa cornfields (6 billion taxpayer dollars subsidize the corn growing industry. We have too much corn - industry is trying to find new ways to use it all up - by using ethanol in the gas we use to drive our machines (even if it is not environmentally sound), as preservatives, and random products that you unknowingly consume or apply to your body (out of tthe 45,000 items in the average supermarket - 25% of them now contain corn. this includes toothpaste, cosmetics, disposable diapers, trash bags, cleansers, charcoal briquettes, matches, batteries) When you read about the amount of fossil fuels/petroleum it takes to fertilize and then grow/harvest/transport the corn - it is mindblowing.
Also - he takes you through food-science laboratories, feedlots or CAFOs (the ghetto/holocaust confinement centers for cattle), fast food restaurants, organic farms and huntinggrounds.
The answers Pollan offers have profound impact on our environment, our health, or politics and it behooves everyone to educate themselves - you will have new appreciation for your food and a heightened awareness of your power as a consumer to make an impact on our environment and our food industry system with your choices.
MUST READ!!!!!!
New Moon, New Intention
The women's new moon circle has been running now for 7 1/2 years. I was fortunate to join 5 1/2 years ago and I receive such fortification and support from this amazing group of compassionate, empathic, ambitious, empowering "sistas."! This was a lovely one which included kids (they happen once in a blue moon) so I was able to bring my girls. The format begins with a potluck style supper and then the ritual follows. A large bowl of sea salt is placed in the middle of the circle and flowers, essential oils and any natural items that persons bring to add to the bowl are included. There is a theme or intention and after a few stretching/breathing exercises, to bring down the party atmosphere - the directions/elements are called and we are invited to approach the bowl and offer our intention for the next 28 day moon cycle to the bowl. Everyone leaves with a jar of salts to bathe with on the full moon (14 days later). So you get a wonderful, fragrant, theraputic bath with all the blessings and intentions of the circle.
This is powerful stuff people! Ladies have conceived babies, found husbands/life partners - it is a powerful group energy that makes things happen. This moon was about what we have learned from the child within and what we take for the next 28 days from that inner child.
This one was hard - even as a child, I remember thinking like an adult. It has only been through having children that I re-explore the idea of the "inner child." But towards the end, after all these women and kids had approached the bowl. And after being inspired by my 9 year old who stated that she learned from her 1 year old friend, "To get up, when you fall and keep going," that her intention was to follow her inner leader. All the adults looked in wonder at this little lady. I approached the bowl. Having felt "stuck" and rather hopeless - mom's ALS is deteriorating very rapidly, I am in a state of loss/grieving - I embraced the inner child's ability to DREAM! That idea of HOPE in the face of any "reality" and the idea of potential and possibility - something that has always been easy for me but has drifted beyond my grasp over the last few months - I grab and embrace and so....Let the Inner Child Rule - let Dreams be the Goal and the let's fire the cynic (and stay away from the news and economic forcasts and impending forclosures and.....) and embrace the dreamer!
Namaste!
This is powerful stuff people! Ladies have conceived babies, found husbands/life partners - it is a powerful group energy that makes things happen. This moon was about what we have learned from the child within and what we take for the next 28 days from that inner child.
This one was hard - even as a child, I remember thinking like an adult. It has only been through having children that I re-explore the idea of the "inner child." But towards the end, after all these women and kids had approached the bowl. And after being inspired by my 9 year old who stated that she learned from her 1 year old friend, "To get up, when you fall and keep going," that her intention was to follow her inner leader. All the adults looked in wonder at this little lady. I approached the bowl. Having felt "stuck" and rather hopeless - mom's ALS is deteriorating very rapidly, I am in a state of loss/grieving - I embraced the inner child's ability to DREAM! That idea of HOPE in the face of any "reality" and the idea of potential and possibility - something that has always been easy for me but has drifted beyond my grasp over the last few months - I grab and embrace and so....Let the Inner Child Rule - let Dreams be the Goal and the let's fire the cynic (and stay away from the news and economic forcasts and impending forclosures and.....) and embrace the dreamer!
Namaste!
Freedom from the Shackles of My Mind
Having enjoyed a beautiful, full moon - I reflect on the intentions I set on this past new moon.
The new moon women's circle question/intention this month was: What are you liberating yourself from? What gift are you gifting yourself this month?
I liberate myself From the Shackles of My Mind! Shouted the little divine voice in my heart. "I liberate myself from any limitations, the little defined box I have unconciously or conciously placed myself in. I gift myself with decluttering of mind and space!"
Do I hear a halleluyah? AMEN!
I them receive a mind blowing birthday week which includes a Lady Gaga concert (Thank you Sherry), a mind blowing delectable gastronomical experience (Thank you Michelle), a mind blowing (yes I know I used this term throughout this blog) Massage (Thank you Michael for the gift and Steve for the massage), and more! Thank you Dedi my awesome man, for gifting me TIME for all these experiences!
My 4 year old is my teacher (my inherited genes - yell out "What if... What if1 you will use this one day? But...But this still fits! But you LOVE That stuff animal! But I LOVE that dress on you! What? What? What?But! But But!!" - and she simply says decisively, without hesitation "Give It Away." As we go through her toys/beloved stuff animals/clothes. Or when she gets tired with the phrase, simply points to the growing "Give Away" pile (such a dictator!).
So I pause and reflect on my new moon intention and TRUST in the abundance of the universe and say THANK YOU to this wonderful, powerful little teacher who has been gifted to me...and the GIVE AWAY pile grows....
The new moon women's circle question/intention this month was: What are you liberating yourself from? What gift are you gifting yourself this month?
I liberate myself From the Shackles of My Mind! Shouted the little divine voice in my heart. "I liberate myself from any limitations, the little defined box I have unconciously or conciously placed myself in. I gift myself with decluttering of mind and space!"
Do I hear a halleluyah? AMEN!
I them receive a mind blowing birthday week which includes a Lady Gaga concert (Thank you Sherry), a mind blowing delectable gastronomical experience (Thank you Michelle), a mind blowing (yes I know I used this term throughout this blog) Massage (Thank you Michael for the gift and Steve for the massage), and more! Thank you Dedi my awesome man, for gifting me TIME for all these experiences!
My 4 year old is my teacher (my inherited genes - yell out "What if... What if1 you will use this one day? But...But this still fits! But you LOVE That stuff animal! But I LOVE that dress on you! What? What? What?But! But But!!" - and she simply says decisively, without hesitation "Give It Away." As we go through her toys/beloved stuff animals/clothes. Or when she gets tired with the phrase, simply points to the growing "Give Away" pile (such a dictator!).
So I pause and reflect on my new moon intention and TRUST in the abundance of the universe and say THANK YOU to this wonderful, powerful little teacher who has been gifted to me...and the GIVE AWAY pile grows....
Perseid Meteor Shower
Spent the night on Mt. Pinos (rated best dark-viewing location in the nation) - looking up at the milky way and the vast expanse of stars - as streakers, fallers, and bugs (I had to name the different meteors) traversed the skies. I joined many others last night - some with large telescopes or cameras - but all with an affinity to the stars. Really, when we ponder our existence - the best way to really take stock of our worries/concerns/challenges/problems - is in the face of the reality that we are but tiny specks of dust in a much larger cosmos. And all is really - an illusion we live in - which perpetuates the ego-centric whirls of energy that are all-encompassing.
For all the challenges of the last few weeks - will get into it next time - it was nice to view the brilliant display that is the August Perseid Meteor Shower (always around my birthday - coincidently)!
For all the challenges of the last few weeks - will get into it next time - it was nice to view the brilliant display that is the August Perseid Meteor Shower (always around my birthday - coincidently)!
"Mom, Can we go now?"
I have heard, over the last few hours - "Mom, can we go now?" "Mom, when are you done?" "Mom, can I have a playdate?"
I am at work. Seeing clients. My almost four year old is in preschool. The nine year old refuses day camp, insisting on playdates. Well, most moms work, and she's already exhausted her 2 stay-at-home mom/friend playdates. Now it's my turn to reciprocate - and so she must wait until a non-working day for it to happen at our house! Harry Potter interested her for 35 pages, the ipod and the "annoying orange" on youtube has kept her entertained for the last few hours (really, they are kind of amusing), but she is ansy. Ah well - I am here for another 4 hours (time to call dad and see if he will take her...)
I am at work. Seeing clients. My almost four year old is in preschool. The nine year old refuses day camp, insisting on playdates. Well, most moms work, and she's already exhausted her 2 stay-at-home mom/friend playdates. Now it's my turn to reciprocate - and so she must wait until a non-working day for it to happen at our house! Harry Potter interested her for 35 pages, the ipod and the "annoying orange" on youtube has kept her entertained for the last few hours (really, they are kind of amusing), but she is ansy. Ah well - I am here for another 4 hours (time to call dad and see if he will take her...)
Horrendous Hormones and Adolescents on the Verge...
My nine year old came home from 2 week-sleepaway camp. Tears of joy, a lovely lunch (despite the cranky almost 4 year old - yes, yes - adjusting, adjusting), and afternoon followed.
This morning - with no clear plans for the rest of the summer except for wanting "lots of playdates," We spent the morning calling friends and set something up for later in the day. I then explained that I had 1 hour to hike/exercise then go to work. She could run errands with dad or come hiking. Well, maybe the incline was too much - but I had a frowning, kvetching, arms crossed the chest adolescent trailing me up the steep incline of Runyon Canyon. I was furious! I explained to her I had 30 minutes to hike and then I had to get to the office. She had the choice to go with dad and she chose hiking with me. No explanation worked, she trailed behind (arms still crossed).
I lost it (I admit it) - I told her I loved her always but right now I hated her. She was wrapped up in her own selfish, ego-centered attitude and I stormed down the hill to the car. A last minute intuitive decision told me to veer to the left downhill to a different trail rather than back to the car. She cried to give her a second chance and I breathed and said yes (still trailing behind) I chose a less strenuous hike which led to a magical, isolated, shaded area and swing. I began to swing and waited for her to arrive. When she did, I gave her a turn and I stretched and did pushups on a log. So we had a lovely 15 minutes and when another family came over, we headed arm in arm home to quick shower. She stated that she was glad that she changed her attitude. I was glad that we were able to change the mood and experience but was left depleted and "down." I had to do some cleansing/affirmations in the shower to rinse of the residual "bad energy" and was able to get to work in a clear, complete way.
It is amazing to me how she can push my buttons the way no one else can. Anyone else dealing with peri-hormonal adolescents?
This morning - with no clear plans for the rest of the summer except for wanting "lots of playdates," We spent the morning calling friends and set something up for later in the day. I then explained that I had 1 hour to hike/exercise then go to work. She could run errands with dad or come hiking. Well, maybe the incline was too much - but I had a frowning, kvetching, arms crossed the chest adolescent trailing me up the steep incline of Runyon Canyon. I was furious! I explained to her I had 30 minutes to hike and then I had to get to the office. She had the choice to go with dad and she chose hiking with me. No explanation worked, she trailed behind (arms still crossed).
I lost it (I admit it) - I told her I loved her always but right now I hated her. She was wrapped up in her own selfish, ego-centered attitude and I stormed down the hill to the car. A last minute intuitive decision told me to veer to the left downhill to a different trail rather than back to the car. She cried to give her a second chance and I breathed and said yes (still trailing behind) I chose a less strenuous hike which led to a magical, isolated, shaded area and swing. I began to swing and waited for her to arrive. When she did, I gave her a turn and I stretched and did pushups on a log. So we had a lovely 15 minutes and when another family came over, we headed arm in arm home to quick shower. She stated that she was glad that she changed her attitude. I was glad that we were able to change the mood and experience but was left depleted and "down." I had to do some cleansing/affirmations in the shower to rinse of the residual "bad energy" and was able to get to work in a clear, complete way.
It is amazing to me how she can push my buttons the way no one else can. Anyone else dealing with peri-hormonal adolescents?
"You are not the _______ that I thought I would have" - The Transient Nature of Emotion
"You are not the mother I thought I would have," declared the almost 4 year old child of mine between bites of breakfast cereal. I looked at this person sitting on my lap - a mini-version of me by everyone's observations and took a breath. 'Wow' has my thought. Calmly I answered, "How would you feel if I said to you, 'You are not the daughter I thought I would have'"?
"I wouldn't like it." she sullenly answered.
"What makes you say that?" I ask curiously.
"I don't know," was her response.
She went on to tell me that she had the best dad in the world and he had the best car in the world. Within the span of the next 12 hours - I was vilified, adored, admired - with sentiments ranging from, "You are so mean" to "You are the best mommy in the world" to "I love you so much."
As words have power - I started to look at how I was affected by the various declarations of this kid and everyone else I interact with on a daily basis and how to best respond (looked to Celestial Prophecy for indepth exploration of energy pulls/drains/creations). Intellectually I know that she is 3 3/4, authentic/without a filter, and living in the "Present." Also, as kid #2 - I've done this before. Also - I am in a very balanced state of being right now (eating regularly, getting great nightime quantities of sleep) - so I can approach life's stresses with a degree of ease.
But what happens when I am sleep-deprived, stressed, hormonal? Intellect goes out the window and "Reaction" becomes the norm.
So solution: self-love (eat regularly and well, exercise, sleep) - to deal with energy pulls from every direction.
Okay - that was easy.
And the reflection/observation: Everything is transient - thought/feeling - this too shall pass. Looking to see if there is a kernel of truth to statements others throw at you - and if so - rectifying behavior/action, or if it is their "stuff" being projected upon you - or in the case of an almost 4 year old - a "trying on" of expression/emotion/being.
In anycase - I was left with a bit of pride at her formulation of expression - I mean really, "You are not the mother I thought I would have" is pretty darn clever!
"I wouldn't like it." she sullenly answered.
"What makes you say that?" I ask curiously.
"I don't know," was her response.
She went on to tell me that she had the best dad in the world and he had the best car in the world. Within the span of the next 12 hours - I was vilified, adored, admired - with sentiments ranging from, "You are so mean" to "You are the best mommy in the world" to "I love you so much."
As words have power - I started to look at how I was affected by the various declarations of this kid and everyone else I interact with on a daily basis and how to best respond (looked to Celestial Prophecy for indepth exploration of energy pulls/drains/creations). Intellectually I know that she is 3 3/4, authentic/without a filter, and living in the "Present." Also, as kid #2 - I've done this before. Also - I am in a very balanced state of being right now (eating regularly, getting great nightime quantities of sleep) - so I can approach life's stresses with a degree of ease.
But what happens when I am sleep-deprived, stressed, hormonal? Intellect goes out the window and "Reaction" becomes the norm.
So solution: self-love (eat regularly and well, exercise, sleep) - to deal with energy pulls from every direction.
Okay - that was easy.
And the reflection/observation: Everything is transient - thought/feeling - this too shall pass. Looking to see if there is a kernel of truth to statements others throw at you - and if so - rectifying behavior/action, or if it is their "stuff" being projected upon you - or in the case of an almost 4 year old - a "trying on" of expression/emotion/being.
In anycase - I was left with a bit of pride at her formulation of expression - I mean really, "You are not the mother I thought I would have" is pretty darn clever!
